I'm Dreaming of a Warm Christmas?

Hello from sunny Waikiki! We spent the Christmas holiday on the island of Oahu. It was a strange Christmas for us all. We have never spent a holiday in a tropical setting, so the weirdness was felt by all 4 of us. Over Christmas brunch on the patio of Sam Choy's Diamond Head Restaurant, we commented on how it just didn't feel like Christmas...

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about spending a week in the warm sun, it is just that I am not USED to that kind of Christmas. It was still an awesome week. We caught up with old friends, made new friends, and worked on our tans in the middle of December. The news of snowstorms in the midwest and northeast made us cringe, say a quick prayer for travelers everywhere, and reach for the sunblock. Ha ha.

Lori and I got to see friends we hadn't seen in a while. These are the type of friends that you can forget about all year, send a card at Christmas time, but when you get together with them it is as if time stood still. You can still joke about the same things, feel comfortable in their homes, and show genuine love and affection to them. That is the way it was for us as we got to see Bennett and Barb and Keith and Arlyne again. The last time we saw them was easily 10 years ago. A lot happens in 10 years, especially when you have kids. Our kids had never met either of these couples. They may have seen their pictures in our wedding album (Bennett and Keith were groomsmen for me), but they had nothing else to connect them to their parents. Our friends also had kids that had never met us, or chose to forget meeting us earlier, but no matter, we all got along well. My kids even commented on how much fun it was to hang out with them. Like they had a choice...

We also got to make new friends and acquaintences while we were there. My old professor, Wayne Iwaoka (not age wise) from the Univ. of Washington is now a department head at the Univ. of Hawaii (go Warriors!). Wayne insisted that I speak at their local Food Technologist Holiday meeting while I was in town. It was a fun event, and I got to meet some wonderful people. As payment for speaking, Wayne toured my daughter around the campus on a recruiting trip. It was a nice treat to have her guided around by the ex-chancellor for student affairs. We also met friends of Barb and Bennett's...the Saitos. What wonderful and generous people! We had fun getting to know them, and will no doubt keep in touch with them over the years.

We did all the typical sun-worshipping things. Bennett and Barb's daughter Charissa happens to be an excellent surfer, so she "volunteered" to take our kids surfing for the first time. Jeff and Mel did a good job for their first time. I did not hit the surf as the sport is for younger, more limber humans. We worked on our tans at Sandy Beach (best sun), Waikiki Beach (best crowds), and Waimanalo (best surf). We found our favorite spots for "Plate Lunch", the local version of fast food. It is a mash-up of Asian, Island, and Mainland foods. Pick your main dish (Lau-Lau, Kahlua Pork, Kalbi Ribs, Hamburger Steak, Fried Chicken, Mahi-Mahi, or combo), and get a scoop of Mac Salad (macaroni salad), and two scoops of white rice for a reasonable price. Kaneke's in Waimanalo had the best food, but Mike's Drive-In was a close second. I have always loved Hawaiian fare. Spam, Portuguese Sausage, Lau-Lau, etc. My first meal in Hawaii was a Paniolo (cowboy) breakfast of fried eggs, Portogee sausage (their pronunciation), over white rice...mmmm. My last meal in Hawaii was at the same spot, the Big City Diner, and it was also breakfast before we hit the airport...Kimchee Fried rice with two fried eggs on top. Hawaiian cuisine is not for the hypercholerolemic. Jeff and Mel are now fans of the Plate Lunch. Their daily request was a trip to Kaneke's for more...no DNA checks needed, they are definitely my kids.

I think our favorite activity was going snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. It is a nature preserve just north of Honolulu. The protected cove and coral reef are loaded with fish, Moray Eels and Green Turtles. We got there fairly early, but still had to fight the crowds. The last time we were there, 10 years earlier, we didn't have nearly the struggle with the crowds. It is now a tourist "must do" event. It is still beautiful even with the crowds. We all saw large Moray Eels, but no turtles.

Our second favorite activity was hitting the "Swap Meet" at Aloha Stadium. Vendor after vendor of stuff...at much better prices than at Waikiki. It was loaded with locals, which I take as a good sign. The kids bought great souvenirs at really reasonable prices. You had to hunt for the treasures, but they are there. The local artisans have to compete with cheap stuff from China, the Philipines and Indonesia. We found an old artisan that made shirts and shorts out of old 100-lb rice bags (Calrose, Nishiki, and other brands). I guess you'd have to be Asian to understand. The cotton linen just gets softer with each washing. Unfortunately we didn't buy from him the first day, and when we went back, he wasn't there. Bennett will make a run for us next week.

Our least favorite activity was looking for parking. Honolulu has a shortage of parking, and it is a struggle to find free parking close to where you want or need to be.

We crammed a month of visiting, touring, and eating into a week's vacation. Maybe Honolulu will become our annual tradition...Nah! We need to be home around our Christmas Tree eating candy cookies and complaining about the cold.

Chow!

Holiday Wishes

I guess I have become a once-a-month blogger. It isn't that I don't have news, or things to say...it is the simple fact of time in my life. Yes, I know everyone is busy, but when I write, my mind has to be clear so thoughts can move easily from my brain or my heart to my fingers and the keyboard. I have been distracted lately. You would not believe what is happening (mostly good) to me and my family...but you will have to wait for the New Year to get the information.

There is a growing sense of "reality" among Americans this holiday season. That reality has many of us actually contemplating our navels, thinking about who we are and how we live. Maybe there is the start of a backlash at the greed of Christmas. First of all, it started way too soon. Secondly, the pervading feeling of selfishness seems to finally be sinking in, and lastly, the sinking economy will be a tough reality for many Americans.

October is not the start of Christmas...I don't care if retailers need to get a jump on making their most profitable time of the year more profitable. There is confusion in consumers' minds when they can't figure out if they should be thinking about Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. The way this reality is playing out is that people might have had it up to here (palm to the neck) with these early marketing efforts. Do we really need an early start to the Holiday season of shopping? Retailers and marketers believe we need help remembering, and this convenience will help us stay organized. I don't buy it...I think many consumers were just caught forgetting about how close Christmas is. Since the retail push started so early, we naturally put things off thinking we had plenty of time...it literally snuck up on us this year! We tuned out the Christmas messages until it was too late. Here it is December 19th and I am just now thinking about getting my Christmas Cards done and mailed. (sorry you all, they will be late this year)

Maybe there is also a growing resentment to the "value" of Christmas giving. Maybe consumers have hit that tipping point where selfishness has blotted out the other key emotional values of this most special time of the year. And it doesn't feel right...it has that nagging feeling. Peace and Goodwill have been covered over by greed and dollars per person. Do expensive and numerous gifts determine how much we love, cherish and value our personal (and business) relationships? Maybe we are saying, "not this year". The media messages are mixed...between the advertising inserts of the newspaper there are smaller stories about generosity, giving, and selfless love. Even in the comic strips you will find beautiful messages about giving gifts of time, self, and service (I have always found the comic strips to be thought and trend leaders of society). This form of "reality" I am posing has consumers "opting out" of a big spending spree in lieu of donating, volunteering, serving.

The third reality is the tanking economy. While most of us may not be directly affected, we somehow feel affected. Not much has changed in reality...our job is secure, we have a fixed mortgage on our loans, etc. but we still have a suspicious and worried feeling in the pit of our stomach. My friend Jana has a good term for this feeling...Emotional Recession. Indirectly, we may feel the effects of the tailing economy through higher prices on most goods and services, but maybe this is a good thing. Maybe we are putting too much on our credit cards and not saving enough. Relearn the definition of "sacrifice". Maybe that is the word of the year. Maybe this is just the kick in the rear I need to start saving for retirement, college education, etc. Maybe this fear is just what the doctor ordered.

So it is okay to feel like you aren't really connected to the plastic joy, phony Christmas Carol laughter, and temporary peace you are being brainwashed to feel. You are not alone. Shake the cobwebs out of your head and focus on the great things that bring you true joy...spending time (not money) with your friends and family. Get some real laughter by playing with some kids, or a pet. Find true peace by discovering the love and forgiveness of a Savior. And it doesn't just have to happen this Holiday Season...this is something you can do all year long.

Just writing this entry has energized me. I have been wondering why I have had a Bah Humbug! spirit this year. It is because I am rejecting the facade of Christmas and am trying to find the reality of it.

Chow!

November to Remember

As a hunter, there are a few hunts that are on my lifetime list to check-off as having done once. Elk Hunting in Montana or New Mexico, Whitetail Deer hunting in Saskatchewan, Red Stag hunting in New Zealand, Safari in Africa, Duck and Goose Hunting Chesapeake Bay, and Pheasant hunting in South Dakota are some of those on my list. I was lucky enough to get invited by a friend at work to hunt pheasants on his Uncle Steve's "farm" in South Dakota. It also happened to coincide with two business trips that made a perfect pheasant hunting sandwich.

Uncle Steve is one of the state's largest private landholders, and was instrumental in building up conservation interests for pheasants and the hunters that pursue them. Pheasants Forever was one of his favorite not-for-profit interests, and the care he has for his land and the pheasants that live wildly upon it is a perfect reflection of the Pheasants Forever charter. Everything revolves around the pheasants. Even a positive change in corn prices due to fuel alcohol production has him worried about farmers taking fields out of CRP (Conservation Reserve Program) and back into corn production. As a hunter, I appreciate an attitude like that. A super gracious host, Steve welcomed me to his home as if I were a long-time friend. His home reflects his interests, and was designed for the ultimate in pheasant-hunting, dog-rearing, snooker-playing, and friend-entertaining.



The first day of my two day's on one of his properties (seemed like countless farms are under his ownership), I got to hunt with one of his High School buddies and his friend. The 5 of us also had the luxury of having 7 dogs to do most of the work. All the dogs were of the retriever lineage. No Pointers here, this is "flusher" territory. Since the birds are truly wild, they prefer to run rather than hold when threatened. Pointers would forever be moving after the moving birds, and would end up frustrated at the end of the day. Flushing retrievers actually move in front of the hunters, adjusting their distance to account for the size of the field and the number of hunters. It is an amazing sight to see a good set of dogs work a field. We used a technique of applying blockers and drivers. A couple of us would sneak to the end of the field (millet, corn, trees, or cattails), and wait as quietly as possible. The drivers would then start at the other end with the dogs, pushing pheasants along until the pheasants either run out of cover, or freak out because of the perceived threat. These birds are so dang smart...they apply principles of geometry and trigonometry! They can calculate when they are equi-distant between the drivers and the blockers and flush just out of gun range of both. Hunters end up killing the dumb ones...those that fall victim to the process. They run until they are cornered and then flush. Even when things work as planned they fly so high and fast that they are tough to hit. After working 6 or 7 fields we found enough dumb birds to fill our 5 limits of 3 roosters apiece. The amount of birds we actually SAW v. shot at was in the thousands. The sight of hundreds of cackling hens and roosters taking flight is why this hunt is a true experience to collect. These truly wild birds began flushing hundreds of yards away as soon as they either heard our car doors slam, smelled the dogs, or heard us coming. They would jump out of cover and fly far out of range to safety.



That night, I got to spend a relaxed evening with Charlie's Grandparents: Erma and JR. Typical midwestern folks...welcoming, generous and friendly. Grandma Erma wouldn't think of letting us stay at a motel, she made up the extra bedroom for us, and had cookies and cheesecake waiting for us the night we first arrived late. She got up early to pack us a lunch, and wish us luck. Grandpa JR is the ambassador of the family and tells the best stories that had us rolling on the floor in laughter. They have lead colorful lives, and have a legacy of great children and grandchildren to be proud of. We took Uncle Steve, his two buddies, Steve's foreman, Charlie's parents and grandparents to dinner after that first hunt. Dinner was at the local steakhouse where we drank cold, cheap beer and ate hot, wonderful food in the presence of warmth, laughter and love.

I hope I am invited back next year.

Bienvenido a Miami

Just returned from rainy, but hot Miami. I was there speaking at a couple of conferences. It was nice that they were both in south Florida during the same week. It made travel a little easier, but that is one long flight from Seattle to Miami. Whenever I fly east, I try to take a red-eye (yes, I know that sounds crazy) because it saves me a day. I don't need that much sleep anymore (a Wu thing), so if I can catch 3-4 hours of sleep I am okay. My travel secret for red-eye flights is to use ear plugs, a sleep mask...and to help with relaxation, a double Jack and Gingerale. This time, the red-eye was pretty good...before I knew it we were wheels down and landing in tropical paradise.

My first speaking gig was in Naples, a 3 hour drive from the Miami International Airport. I was scheduled as the keynote speaker at the Prepared Foods New Products Conference. The conference put me up in the beautiful Naples Grand Resort, very nice. It was sunny, warm, with a slight breeze. I arrived about 11 am, and got checked into my nice poolside room. I had a choice between two fun events; a golf tournament or Everglades Tour. I decided on the tour. I didn't want to drag my golf stuff around, plus I already had 4 pairs of shoes along, and couldn't imagine packing a fifth pair of golf shoes. I can imagine the guffaws as I explain why I was packing 5 pairs of shoes to Lori and Melanie (I always complain about their packing when we go on vacation...couldn't be too hypocritical). I wasn't speaking until the next day, so I did get to enjoy a little the surrounding area.

The tour was goofy. The bus driver/guide, a retired steelmill worker from Pennsylvania, gave us a tour of the town of Naples at about 65 mph. We could barely see anything...his hurry? He gets some sort of commission for taking us to places where we can spend some money...the gift shop at the seafood restaurant, the ice cream parlour and gift shop, and the Everglades Boat Tour gift shop. It was amazing how much time we had to wander around a gift shopping area v. driving through the Everglades to spot wildlife. The closest we came to spotting wildlife was when he hit a flying Ibis with the bus as we roared down Alligator Alley on our way to the Seminole Indian Village...and gift shop. The 1.5 hour boat tour was pretty good. No airboats (darn!), but a giant pontoon boat run out of the National Park marina. We saw all the major bird groups...egrets, Osprey, ibis, storks, cranes, herons, hawks, buzzards, vultures, and even a nesting pair of Bald Eagles. The wildlife officer couldn't believe I wasn't too excited to see the eagles...I explained to her that I was from Seattle, and Bald Eagle sightings are pretty common..."like crows" I told her. I saw a group of dolphin while the crowd almost tipped the boat straining to see the eagles from the port side. I mentioned the dolphin sightings, and the crowd rushed quickly over to the starboard side where I was. The wildlife guide gunned the motor, and the dolphins took that as a sign from her to "play" with the boat. They use the wake from the stern (back) to ride, jump, surf, and just put on a show. Now THAT was cool. On our way back to the dock, we actually saw the rarest of the Everglades animals, 3 Manatees rolling around in the shallows. Turned out is was mating season, but I couldn't tell which end was heads or tails, just a couple of gray blobs in the stained water. On the bus ride back to the hotel, our driver just had to mention that he works for tips, and if we really enjoyed his guided tour of Naples, his rantings about the rich, the government, the war in Iraq, and his personal views of how best to manage the population explosion of that south Florida region, we should show our appreciation by tipping him accordingly. I gave him the free hat that came with the boat tour.

After opening the conference (about 225 attendees), I had to quickly check out and drive back to Miami for the Iconosphere 2008 Client Conference. This is the event of the year of Iconoculture. We hold this conference to bring as many clients as we can together to really inspire, inform and entertain them. We had about 380 show up in South Beach this year. Last year in Beverly Hills we had 275, so it is definitely growing in popularity. It was held this year at the Loews, South Beach...very, very nice. Unfortunately we had such an awesome turnout of clients that we didn't book enough room for all of us, so some of us had to stay next door at the Royal Palm Beach Resort...not so very, very nice. I had a nice room (recently renovated), but others weren't so lucky...some had bed bugs, fleas, and stained carpeting and furniture. CSI black lights would reveal those stains to be of human excretion type. And this place wasn't cheap.

Our keynotes were the legendary Ze Frank, of user generated, YouTube fame (dancing man), and Anthony Bourdain, reknowned chef, author and traveler. Wow, how fun is that? Since we are a consumer behavior company, these guys happened to leave me with a couple of tidbits to share. Ze Frank shares that consumers are learning new languages (your brand), and are willing to converse with you through new media interchanges. It isn't just us telling them what to believe anymore. It isn't as simple as advertising on billboards, in TV commercials. It might have to be communicated in totally new ways. Of course he used user-generated examples like the Mentos and Diet Coke videos to make a point. How would you react to your product being hijacked in this way...obviously not the way you expected consumers to use your product, but a dialogue nontheless. Bourdain is just plain hilarious. He is so direct, spontaneous and clever that his Q and A session had me laughing until I was crying. He is the master of telling mini stories to make his points. Food is the conversation a chef wants to have with a diner. The closer you can get to the chef, the better the conversation and understanding. His favorite example is the true sushi experience. You sit at the bar, and the chef decides what you will eat. He hands you the sushi and you take it with your fingers. That is as intimate a conversation as it gets. The chef is learning what you like based upon your response to his offerings, and the dinner "conversation" morphs as you each learn about each other through that exchange. He is an advocate of what he calls "eating submission". Cooking for a chef is about control...the food, flavor, texture, etc. So eating should be about a diners submission to that chef's cooking. The meal is an interaction with what the chef thinks you will like...that is the purest form of cooking. Unfortunately that is the opposite of the eating and dining culture in most of America. The diners are in control, demanding what they think they want. Too many chefs are frustrated because they cannot give you what they believe is delicious. He mentions two vanguards...Mario Batali, who has made organ meats fashionable, and Adrain Ferrar, the founder of molecular gastronomie. He had one other piece of sage advice for us...we need to go back into our heritages and learn to eat what our grandparents loved to eat.

My best foodie experience in Miami was in Little Havana...Calle Ocho. Our Hispanic Strategist recommended that for good Cuban food, I should try Versaille Restaurant. It was an adventure finding the place, but man oh man was I glad I didn't give up! I dragged a couple of colleagues who also love Cuban food along for the ride. The feast began immediately when they brought us a basked of warm garlic toast...my mouth is watering as I type this. We ordered Malanga Fritters (they were out of Codfish Fritters) and Tostones for appetizers, and then to maximize our tasting opportunity, we went with sampling platters. My friends each had the "classico" of Roast Cuban Pork, a Corn Tamale, Ground Meat Picadilla, fried Plantains, and Black Beans and Rice. I went with the "Criollo", which means "original"...that was loaded with Fried Pork Chunks, Yucca, Fried Plantains, Ropa Vieja, Yellow Rice and Black Beans. My onliest disappointment was that they left out the fried pig skin, I am sure they ate that in the back...what gringo would want that? We ate like pigs, and even forced down some dessert...we split the Flan Cubano (velvety smooth), a Key Lime Pie (loads of condensed milk), and our favorite, the Pastel Tres Leches (oh, soooo good), all washed down with Cafe Cubano. This place was so good I came back on my last night in Miami with another bunch of Iconoculturistas. I missed the Codfish Fritters last time, so they were a must, along with fried Yucca, Ceviche (Red Snapper in lime juice), Ham Croquettes, and more Tostones. Then I had a Beef Liver done Milanesa style...breaded. I had to do it after listening to Tony Bourdain. I have to admit...not my first choice if I go back, but I enjoyed it. The two pitchers of Sangria didn't hurt.

My week in south Florida went down easy, like the Mango Mojitos at the Delano (must do!), and had the same effect. I am groggy but smiling.

Chow!

Paging Dr. Wu...

My younger brother, the doctor, turns 45 on Monday. It is hard to imagine your baby brother being 45, but then again, I hate being his older brother. I don't ever think we will consider each other grown ups, even though we both have kids in college.

I was thinking about him the other day when a friend of mine was telling me his doctor suggested that on his 50th birthday he should schedule a colonoscopy with a Gastroenterologist...whoopee! What a birthday gift to yourself. It reminded me of Duke (not his real name, but his childhood nickname) because he is a Gastroenterologist, and because I am nearing 50 as well. But I am not sure I would want my little brother to do the "work" on me for a couple of reasons...modesty (who wants their brother poking and peering up orifices?) is a minor reason, the big reason is fear of cosmic karma. In a very vulnerable position he could get back at me for those early years of torture I inflicted on him when we were kids. Here are just a few choice memories I have replaying in my mind when I think about it:

1. I broke his nose, literally smashed it off his face. We were on a cross country trip from California to our new permanent home in the US in Virginia. We had been stationed in Japan and Okinawa during the Vietnam War. Dad decided we could make a nice 2 week trip of it in a rental station wagon. 7 of us piled into the station wagon with all of our luggage in the back and on top. It was misery for most of that trip. We stayed in inexpensive motels, sleeping 3 or so to a bed. The Dukester and I were in a bed with my sister, he kept fidgeting, kicking me under the covers...basically trying to get comfortable. I had had it...I sat up, leaned over and put a lick on him. He screamed, and when he got up, his nose was nowhere to be found! Just two nostrils on his face. My dad came over and performed rhinoplasty right there with his bare hands, reforming his nose between his too thumbs. Duke's nose was spurting blood and he was howling like a Banshee. I never did get in trouble when I gave my side of the story. I still don't know why I didn't get my heiney spanked, but I felt worse when I didn't. Dad did a good job re-forming his nose. He actually has a nice looking nose now. But that doesn't justify anything.


2. I shot him with my b-b gun...more than once. I still remember the worst one though. We were "playing" some sort of fugitive game down by the "tracks". The tracks were an old railroad bed with the rails removed. It covered a long trail from town out to Bull Run Battlefield. We spent hours playing by the tracks. In this instance we had Duke cornered behind a big hedgerow. We (a friend and I) were shooting b-b's high over the bush, low, but not directly into the bush for fear of hitting him. I saw a hole in the bush that I was going to shoot at. As soon as I squeezed the trigger, poor Duke's head popped up in that hole, and I freaked. Too late, the copper bullet was headed right for him. He squealed and then unleashed a string of curse words aimed at me. His worst was yet to come...he threatened to "Tell Dad." That was the ultimate threat. He knew that would turn me into a quivering mass of jello willing to do anything to keep that from happening. Our Dad believed in the NRA method of gun safety. Rule #1: Never point a gun at another person. Oh, the punishment I would get if he found out I had broken that rule! Duke's retribution was to shoot me point blank anywhere below the waist...except for that most sensitive of male anatomy.


3. I beaned him with a rock. Once again I had Duke trapped behind something like a bush, but this time with rocks. We had a rockfight going and I had him on the run. I started lobbing rocks high, mortar like, to see if I could cause some damage. I made a spectacular (in my estimation) toss nice and high, and it came down right on his head! He was gushing blood like a Samurai Gang member in a Kill Bill flick. I thought I had killed him! Luckily he didn't need stitches, but he still had a big ol' gash on the very top of his skull. I am sure he still has the scar.


4. I roped him like a steer. We loved to play Cowboys and Indians when we were in grade school. We had the coolest leather holsters and full-sized Colt .45's. Mine was nickel plated with white Ivory grips, Duke's was nickel plated with carved horn grips. That was one of our favorite games to play. It was rare for us to have a rope, but one day we found ourselves with a nice length of nylon rope...perfect for roping cattle. Our neighbor was supposed to be the cattle, and Duke was going to drive that lil' dogie right past me so's I could rope him. The neighbor kid ran mooing past me, but on the opposite side of our Hibiscus hedge...all's I could see was the tops of his and Duke's heads bobbing up and down. I swung the rope over my head, making the loop open up wider and wider and then flung it over the hedge at the neighbor. Unfortunately I neglected to compensate for their speed and ended up catching poor Duke right around the top of his head...perfectly eye level. I yanked hard to close the lariat loop and dropped him like a sack of spuds! He had a rope burn around his head and eyelids. He was yelling and screaming at me, but I was laughing too hard to hear him.


5. I hung him in a Hangman's Noose. Poor Duke, us older kids could talk him into anything. The older neighbor boy taught me how to tie a Hangman's Noose with that same piece of rope, but we needed something to test the strength of the knot. My older sister, Viv and I asked Duke to participate. We insisted that "it won't hurt at all". Totally true. We knew how dangerous it would be to hang him by his neck, so we said we would just test it by hanging him from his ankles...just for a quick second, and then we would let him down. He relented, and we tightened the noose around his ankles. We threw the rope over a tree branch and then yanked as hard as we could to lift him off the ground. We hoisted him up until all the blood was rushing to his head. Then we let him hang...1 second, 10 seconds, 15 seconds...he was screaming at us, threatening to kill us. We were amazed at how strong that knot was, and when you have someone in a vulnerable position, well you can't waste that opportunity. We tickled him, swung him back and forth, and teased him. But we started to feel bad, so we let him down, and ran for it. He had a mean little temper for a kid.


6. I tore his favorite Teddy Bear in half. I admit, it was an act of rage. I accused him of kidnapping my bear (probably not true) and we were arguing about something stupid...who remembers those stupid arguments? The result of our fight ended up with his poor Teddy torn in two, and shredded beyond repair. That bear still haunts me in my nightmares...must be my guilt. The way I tore that helpless bear in half makes me cringe when I think about a Colonoscopy...I grabbed it by the legs and ripped...that is the only time I have seen him cry because of something I did to him. He never cried after any of the other stories, just this time.

It's funny, I can picture him screaming at me, but I can't recall what he is screaming. He was a yeller as a kid, with a mean temper, and his face would turn beet red he would get so angry and frustrated at us. I think his favorite come back was, "I am going to kill you!" So you can't blame me for turning pale when someone suggests that Duke could do my first colonoscopy in a couple of years...he still has time to make that threat real.

We had a very adventurous childhood, with loads of good memories as well. We loved to build forts, start fires and steal things. Sorry Mom and Dad, but yes, your boys had an evil, destructive streak. We had a knack for destroying shrubs, flowers and bushes. We tortured small animals. My wife believes that Hell for me (why does she assume that is my eternal fate?) will be punishment given out by squirrels, chipmunks, lizards, ducks, geese and other small animal victims that have suffered by my hand.

But this is supposed to be a tribute article for Duke on his Birthday, so I guess I'd better get to that.

He is the smartest person I know. I still remember how embarrassed I was in High School because my younger brother would be in my chemistry, math and biology classes. Not only would he do well, he would destroy the curve for the rest of us average students. My buddies would hassle me about it. That didn't stop when he entered college, and happened to follow me to the very school I was attending. He had a 4.0, and my parents wondered what I had been doing instead of studying. If he attended a different school I could've used the different curriculum excuse, but he was taking the same courses I had taken the previous year. He is the doctor my parents always longed for in our family, someone to compare favorably with to the over-achieving cousins. I accused him of being way too serious and not fun-loving enough. Now I look back and see that he was focused on what needed to be done, and he stuck to it.

That level of responsibility (even at a young age) sets him apart. He has ethics and morals to help him make decisions. Can one be ethical to a fault? I hope not, but it does mean others may try to take advantage, and they probably have. His high degree of ethics also makes others think he might be stubborn, unreasonable and close-minded. I don't think that is because of his ethics, that is just because he is stubborn, unreasonable and close-minded!

He is a natural athlete. He can seemingly accomplish anything he decides to do...except on the dance floor. Not sure what happened there, but his "disco" gene is definitely mutated. But in other athletic displays, he comes across as confident and capable. Maybe that is why he gave up golf...and maybe why I should consider that as well.

He is the thin, good-looking one. He can eat as much as he wants and is still the same size as he was in college. I smell food and gain weight. He still looks like he is in his 2o's. No gray hair, no wrinkles, no beer belly, no fair. But if he needed a kidney, I would give it to him.

He is a great family man. His family comes first...no matter what. His kids may argue with me about this one, but not from where I sit. I would enjoy more time with him as we get older, but I also know where our relationship is in comparison to his family responsibilities.

So Happy Birthday, Dukie! Writing this brought back so many great memories of growing up with you. I hope you have happy thoughts from our childhood together as well.

Ciao!

Foreign Exchange Student

We have a foreign exchange student staying with us for a couple of weeks of home stay. I think the exchange group was looking for "typical" American families to place the kids into. Not sure if we fit that profile, but poor Elisa got us. I asked what the objectives were for the students, and the group leader said that they hoped their German kids would get a taste of a typical American Teenagers' life. So, after about a week, these are the conclusions I come to about typical American Teens:

1. They aren't as smart (or driven) as the teens in the rest of the world. I started "seeing" what Elisa was seeing and I started asking her what she thought about different observations she made and pointed out. She said that in Europe the kids spend the school day learning, while it seemed that American kids worked hard at avoiding learning. She said that here, there are more social events (pep rally, school assemby) built into their day. She was amazed at how easy the course loads were, even in the AP and Honors level classes. She says the motives of kids in her school are about passing difficult final exams and hoping to land a spot in the university because there are more hopefuls than the schools can handle. She speaks 3 languages fluently, and adds latin studies to help her meet her university requirements. How many of our kids are like that? Elisa is not an over-achiever, she feels she is typical and average in her school.
2. American Teens focus on social aspects of school v. educational opportunities. Elisa is very smart, she notices that kids here spend way more time and energy trying to get in with the right crowds, have other kids like them, and find their space in the pecking order of the HS hallway. She says in Germany, there isn't that much of an opportunity to behave that way. The first social dance her school had ever had was last year when it put on a winter ball. And that dance was the result of 18 kids from last year's visit to America wanting to start a similar tradition to our Homecoming. I think German kids feel the same things, but they can't obsess about them when they are in demanding classes all day. She seemed dumbfounded at the idea of Cheerleaders and Drill Team and wondered why this small group controlled the social structure and hierarchy of the school.
3. American Teens eat way too much. Maybe the world is right, America is obese because our portions sizes are too big. Here is what this German 18 year old eats in a typical day: a small glass of orange juice, a half serving of cereal with milk for breakfast. Half a sandwich, small yogurt and 10 grapes for lunch, and 1 small serving of whatever we are having for dinner (protesting at how full she was after 1 meatball with her spaghetti). When another host family took her and a friend to Dick's Drive In (best burgers, fries and shakes in Seattle) she had 1 cheeseburger, no fries and she split a milk shake with her friend. That seemed like an appetizer when I compare her eating habits to my own 16 year old (who is a perfectly buff and trim size 0), I was amazed. To be fair, my daughter does swim competitively which burns calories and makes her ravenous. But it is the "what" as well as the "how much" that is strikingly different. No junk food, no soda (juice and water when she is thirsty), and the only candy I saw her eat was gum. When I asked her and a friend the biggest difference between her house and ours, they both gave the same answer, which to me means they have discussed this...they said they couldn't believe how huge our refrigerators are over here. Okay, maybe there is a direct correlation between obesity rates and cubic inches of refrigeratiors.
4. American Teens have way too much money. Elisa stresses about how much things cost, understanding the sacrifice her parents made just to send her here. She seems to understand the value of things, and doesn't just expect to be given anything because she wants it, or "needs it". When one of her friends lost a cell phone loaned to her by her host family, all of them worried about finding it, how to replace it if it couldn't be found...to the point that none of them could enjoy the sight-seeing they were doing. When the lost phone was found, it was a major celebration and relief because it had real value to them, and they felt responsibility in the loss. Most of the Americans thought, "no big deal, they can just get a new one". She is amazed that most of her American peers all either had their own car, or a car to use whenever they wanted. She will get drivers education fees as her graduation present because it is such an expense for her parents.

Maybe I am too hard on our teens, and that privilege comes with the "American Dream" package. But I am presenting the American Teen from the perspective of a German Teen...this is what she is seeing and learning about our culture from her short 3 week stay. I hope we put or best foot forward and also taught her that we are a caring people, generous to a fault, and that we love our children so much that we are blind to the ways we might actually be hurting them.

Let me close with one more observation...teen girls the world over are still mesmerized by the shopping mall, "the best American invention ever", according to Elisa.

Chow!

The Second Year is Tougher...

It has been two weeks since my oldest left for THE Ohio State University. It is his sophomore year. I actually am worse with missing him this year than last, and that has me thinking about why. So you all get the benefit of my musings and emotions.

Here is where I land on the subject of why it is harder on me this year than last. I think it is because his leaving a second time is really just marking time to when he leaves for the last time. It is closer now than last year. He has more ties, connections and emotions in Ohio than he had last year. Sure, he loves us and loves his home state, but he is starting to love Columbus as well. Last year we knew he was looking forward to coming home, this year he was looking forward to going back. I haven't been planning for this kind of emotion for me. I had been looking forward to the empty nest, but now I am not so sure. Now as I prepare for that separation, I have to do "scenario planning" so I am not totally wrecked. Part of that planning tells me that between his junior and senior years he will probably take an internship somewhere other than home, so really we have just one more complete summer with him being our "kid". Maybe I need to visit him this spring, maybe I can drive him home this summer and we can do a "road trip". That sounds like a good plan.

I have always wondered about parents wanting their kids to live near them; thinking that way seemed too limiting for the kids, but now I am feeling the exact same kinds of thoughts. Our neighborhood is full of young families where the Moms or Dads went away for school and a few years, but then have found their way back to their home neighborhood. The high school is full of teachers and administrators that went to that school as teenagers, and now find themselves back as adults. It was always strange to me, that tug of home, but now I find myself wanting that for my kids. Well, I struggle with that, because I do and I don't. In my head I want them first to go find their own way, to be the best that their abilities (and a little luck) will let them be, and if they can do that near us and home, so be it. But if that takes them overseas and far away, that is okay too. In my heart I would love it if they decided they could have a fulfilling career and make a life close to home. I regret not having more family traditions and making more family memories that might be a stronger magnet for home.

It's okay if this entry makes you cry...I am crying as I type this.

Chow!

Lord I was born a ramblin' man...

Wow, 1 month since my last post. One of the regular readers of this blog (okay, a family member) sent me an e-mail wondering if I was still alive...I assure you I am alive and well, okay, not that well, too busy to really be well, but I am surviving. Work has been incredibly busy. I have been traveling non-stop for 3 weeks straight. I keep thinking I have a trip coming up, but I get a week at home before flying out again.

Lori and I didn't get to celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary in the same city. I was in Dallas, and she was in Columbus. I was helping lead an ideation workshop for a restaurant client, and she was helping Jeff move into his fraternity. We called each other and said, "Happy Anniversary! We can celebrate when we are back in town." She gets back tomorrow after visiting with her family in Minnesota. While in Dallas, I got to catch up with an artist friend. We were in Africa together...he painted the mural for the kids. His name is Ro Diaz, and you have go to his website and check out his stuff. I dragged a work colleague to his studio, and then took him to dinner. He ended up giving us each a signed poster of a commemorative piece he did after 9/11 using molten glass from Ground Zero. Then he let me pick out an original painting for Lori for our anniversary. I had it framed yesterday, and Melanie and I hung it up as a surprise for Lori. No need to worry about her seeing it here...she never reads my blog! Ha! Here it is...it is called "Face". It is charcoal and oil paint that Ro dilutes with Linseed oil so it is more like watercolors in effect.

Everytime I go back and look at it, she looks different...Ro is amazing. He also signed a limited edition print that is also being framed. If you go to his website and search his portfolio of work, it is the one entitled, "Road to Batuna". It is beautiful.

24 years of marriage is humbling when I think about it. I can't believe that is is more than half my life, and I can't believe how quickly it has gone by. I am seriously on the back side of life. Jeff in college, Melanie looking at schools, me looking at retirement options, feeling the aches and pains of life, and measuring life's results v. life's expectations. Did I do what I wanted to do? Is there enough time to accomplish what I set out to do in life? Actually when I really look back, I had pretty low expectations for myself, and when I see the kids, I realize that I don't need to accomplish anything else. It would be nice to hit on this little start-up, but not a necessity.

I got to enjoy a few special moments with my kids these past few weeks. Jeff had his buddy Mark (guitar player and lead singer in their band) visit us in early Sept. They hit the Bumbershoot festival (indie music), and then we showed him around the beautiful Pacific NW. Then Jeff and I went to the UW/OSU game last Saturday with a friend of mine from Cincinnati and his daughter, whom Jeff met last year in the dorm. What a small world! They became friends not knowing that their dads were friends 15 years earlier. Earl got tickets to the game and flew out with his daughter Erika. I was the only unhappy one as the 3 of them got to enjoy a Buckeye pounding of my Huskies. It is hard when the Huskies had to play against the #1 defense AND the referees, but who's complaining?

Melanie and I have been enjoying the house to ourselves after Jeff and Lori took off for Columbus after the game. Mel took good care of herself for a couple of days while I was in Dallas. I have been on her to get her driver's license, but since she was gone during the summer (Europe), she didn't get much of a chance to practice. I think she is worried about parallel parking, so today I took her around town. We parked in every spot we came across that gave her a chance to parallel park. She did a good job. She will be the best parallel parker amongst her friends...trust me. So we have been cooking for each other, and chatting about life in general. I have been giving her advice about boys (believe it or not, she asked me). It has been fun just talking to her. We went to the Highline High football game last night, and were treated to a thriller as the Pirates pulled out a win with 32 seconds to go! Melanie plays in the band, and afterwards the group she hangs with asked her to go to Denny's late night...she got home late, at night.

Thanksgiving is approaching and I got the best news I could hope for...we will have visitors! Yay! I love cooking for a crowd! This year I will have an outlet to post my all-time favorite recipes for my Chestnut Stuffing and Double Bourbon Sweet Potatoes, so look for them in early November as you wonder, "what should I do this year for Thanksgiving?". My parents will be flying out from DC with my sister and her 3 girls. My brother, his lovely wife and 3 of the 4 kids are also coming. I am sure my aunt will feel compelled to visit, and I expect a single straggler or two from our extended network of friends. Lori is groaning from the expectation of a crowd, but I love it!

Personally, I have lots on my mind...but that will be for later posts. For now, all I can do is ask you all to keep me in your thoughts and prayers...big decisions coming up.

Chow!

Over-Indulging Our Kids

I saw the best quote from a recent visitor to the US upon his return to Kenya. When asked about the most amazing thing he experienced in the US, he answered...

"American children have the most well-behaved parents in the world."

I read this in our local newspaper this morning and had a good chuckle about it. But after thinking about it, it makes me wonder about our future generations. Are we indulging our children just a little too much? Mom's chauffeur service is now 24/7, and is just a cellphone call away.

My teenage kids favorite show lately is MTV's "Super Sweet 16 Birthday Bash". It is entertaining for them to see the excessive behavior at its best (or is that worst?). Encouraging bratty behavior, whining, self-indulging, and selfishness may not be good to watch. I think the girls who get these kinds of birthday parties end up on WE's "Bridezilla" show at some later point in life. Parents just haven't said "no" enough to their children. They have gotten zero teaching on what is reasonable, how to share, how to play nicely, and in general, how to respect others.

My daughter just turned 16 yesterday, and thank goodness she has had a pretty reasonable upbringing. Even though we indulge her (she has a car available to drive, cell phone, i-Pod, etc.), she feels guilty asking for things. Whew! Big sigh of relief...in that department. But still, she is immune to real hardship, hard work, and disappointment. She has a part time job delivering newspapers in the neighborhood...but she does it while being driven around by her mom! No bike route or, heaven forbid, walking!

I think we have mistaken that for good parenting. Successful child-rearing has become what that African visitor has noticed...kids reliant on their parents to keep them from enduring any amount of disappointment and sacrifice. We say we want "the best" for our kids, so we help them be successful, getting involved where we shouldn't and shielding them from failure. We forget that hard work leads to discipline, satisfaction, and self-respect. Sacrifice leads to patience, commitment and joy. When handled properly, disappointment can lead to learning, determination, and accomplishment. What do kids learn when disappointment is avoided and success is given to them? They learn entitlement, and to expect success at everything. That isn't part of growing up.

Okay, parents, try to pull yourself out of that role of over-involved and protective. It worked on you, and look how well you turned out!

Ciao!

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

There has been plenty of blog space given to my Dad, I guess I have neglected to talk about the woman behind the man. My Mom celebrates a birthday tomorrow. I want to devote an entry to the amazing talents that she has, and to celebrate her life with you all. I am a little biased, but I actually truly believe that Mom is the best. I will tell the tale, and let you decide for yourself.

I don't remember ever having any typical "Generation Gap" issues with her. Well maybe I do remember one...it has to do with horrible elephant print pants that she bought for me during "back to school" shopping before the start of 6th grade. I wouldn't be caught dead in them, but she insisted...I never did wear them. I could classify that as a power struggle, not a lack of her understanding me. Maybe my sisters could enlighten us all to more generation gap issues, but really, I can't remember any knockdown, drag-outs about much. Mom was always a good listener, she gave me plenty of rope to explore the world, my feelings, experiences, and emotions. She never tried to shield me or protect me from the world's disappointments. I know now that she actually struggled within herself as to whether to let us know how torn she was internally, but I always felt she encouraged us to grow, develop and become independent, responsible adults.

Even now, I am going to say she is the best mother-in-law my wife can have. She has never interfered with how our kids are raised, she has never questioned our judgment as parents, and so on. Mom has basically kept her nose out of our marriage and child-rearing. Never offered unsolicited advice, ever. I don't know how she does it! Well, maybe I do know how she does it...she just treats my wife and the other "in-laws" like her own kids (sometimes better than her own).

I learned to cook by watching and helping her in the kitchen from the time I was about 10 years old. She always had time to answer my questions and let me try things in the kitchen. I still remember the first thing she ever let me cook by myself...fried rice. And she announced it loudly at the dinner table that night. She has always been my #1 fan as well. I don't know anyone who raves about my cooking more than Mom. Who doesn't love positive reinforcement? Now when I cook the favorite dishes from my childhood, I do it from memory...pleasant ones from my childhood. I have memorized those aromas, flavors and textures. I don't do it exactly like her, because I have my own experiences to add into the mix. I do regret not passing on this love of cooking to my kids. I am hoping that maybe that passion kicks in late. Mom is an excellent cook of so many things, I always wonder why she did such a hack job with Thanksgiving? I think it was because she tried to do it in the classical Pilgrim style...start the Turkey at the crack of dawn and cook it all day. She forgets that modern ovens do a better job than colonial ones.

Mom is talented as a musician, writer, and family historian. She is chronicling memories that she and my Dad have for future generations. When you compare her education and accomplishments with her younger brothers and sisters, it doesn't look fair. All of my uncles are all brilliant scientists responsible for huge advances in research, my aunt is a leading authority on early childhood development. They even married brilliant scientists and researchers. Masters degrees and PhD's could cover part of the Great Wall in sheepskins. I love all my Aunts and Uncles dearly, but I hate how Chinese families like to compare these types of accomplishments, because my Mom and Dad seem to come up with the short end of the stick. But I gotta tell you I think the wrong measure of success is used. Maybe it should be measured in grandchildren and great grandchildren; in miles traveled, friendships developed, and the sound of laughter in the home because then all of them are successful...but with MY Mom and Dad coming out on top!

Everyone knows by now that we didn't have a normal upbringing. We lived all over the world, and my brother and I spent many of our formative teen years in boarding schools away from home. So I don't have many memories of her getting up early to make us pancakes for breakfast, or screaming for us in the stands as we played sports. But I don't see those as being that important. I always felt loved, supported and that I was getting the best of everything that Mom and Dad could afford. I have never felt cheated or minimalized in any way. Maybe that is why I have no issues with my childhood and upbringing. Maybe that is all my kids need from me.

(Duke, don't forget it is Mom's birthday tomorrow!!!)

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Chow!

I Left My Heart in Africa

Well, I am back from Africa...full of stories, insights and ideas, but more than that, I am full of wonder, humility and concern. The needs in Africa are amazingly huge, with just a tiny bright light at the end of a dark, long tunnel called AIDS. I think orphans and AIDS treatment is the new export of Africa. I am hoping and praying that it is only a 1-generation issue, but Africans don't believe that, who am I to think that?

Here is a brief log of my travels and experiences. I think I need to start by telling you all about the Ring Road Orphans Day School. RRODS is located smack dab in the middle of the Nyalenda Neighborhood in Kisumu, Kenya. About half a million people live in that neighborhood. Most western aid workers call it a slum, but the Kenyans don't...they think it is a middle class neighborhood. It is legit...property is dealt, rents are paid and recorded, and people work hard. We call it a slum because it lacks basic utilities like running water, electricity and sewers.



The school for orphans was started 10 years ago, in fact, they celebrated their 10 year anniversary while we were there...3 Christian workers were pestered by an orphan during their lunch hour. As they talked to the boy, they were convicted by his horrific story of starvation, abuse and lack of status. Both parents died within a few days of each other with AIDS. His closest relatives stole all his belongings and put him on the streets...the streets didn't want him either. He lived by his wits starting at the young age of 7. Jared, Thomas and James decided right then and there that they needed to do something to help. They took him in, and started teaching him how to read, write, and basic math. Guess what? There were more like Peter...many more. The three Kenyans began a small school in their church building, and it slowly grew.

Let's fast forward to today. Ring Road is the model for how to normalize and care for AIDS orphans in Africa. The work there supports, educates and loves about 400 orphans. African culture dictates that orphans should be sheltered by extended family, not institutionalized. The school is for orphans only...usually AIDS orphans are at the bottom of the status ladder...last to receive anything. Putting them first helps build their esteem and confidence.

With a budget of $22 per orphan per month, RRODS is able to feed them 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, cover their school expenses, clothing, and a little healthcare as well. That money comes from individual sponsors in America through the Christian Relief Fund. The staff and administrative costs come out of additional donations made privately or through missions support from all over the world. That they can do all this with only $22 is amazing. Jerrod believes that you have to also take care of their spiritual and emotional needs as well. For real growth to occur, the kids need to feel "normal"...not just fed and clothed. That means fun. So they have 5 soccer teams and the best scouting troop in all of East Africa. How to measure success? How about these tidbits: Ring Road had two of the top 3 scores in National Standard Tests for 8th graders in all of Kenya! Interesting to note that the Ministry of Education has been trying to shut the school down (as substandard) for the past 4 years. Ever since the test results, they have changed their tune. What else...oh! They have the best boy scout troop in all of East Africa and the best girl scout troop in ALL of Africa. They were asked to represent Africa in the UK, but alas, without a budget they could only send one lone girl scout. Irine is a 7th grader, and will be representing Ring Road in London this week. Traveling to London all by herself due to lack of funding. Poets? Got em...one of the 7th graders is a Kenyan award winner based on her poetry about her life affected by AIDS. These kids are gritty fighters that just want a chance at life.

Here is the school: Build by the NW Church in Seattle, WA. The NW group also pays the teacher salaries and operating expenses.




Here are some pictures of the Nyalenda Slum as we walked the roads to get to the school. Yes, it smells as bad as it looks. I have a picture of a butcher shop...I couldn't tell if they were selling meat or flies.




I loved the food. I know now the source of southern cooking: Fried Chicken, Red Beans and rice, fried fish, grits, greens and okra all come from Kenya. Fried Kuku (chicken) is a popular dish as is Samaki (fish), Ugali (corn meal), and Sakama Wiki (collard greens). The literal translation of Sakama Wiki is "to push through, or extend the week". Wild greens are gathered and cooked and help stretch the food through the week.

Here is a shot of our first meal in Africa. We ate at Maria's Cafe. An interesting place from a hygiene point of view. No running water, so don't eat the salad. One of our group didn't heed this advice and had an intestinal problem the whole trip. The wholed fried Tilapia was delicious as were the red beans and rice. Jerrod picked this restaurant because the orphanage just started a new side business...raising broiler chickens for market, and Maria's buys their chickens.

Here are some pictures of the kids...a few years ago, before Christian Relief Fund started sponsoring them, they weren't the picture of health that you see now. We thought many of them wouldn't survive, they looked so sickly. Not only are they healthy, they are thriving. They are respectful, helpful, and obedient. The older kids mentor the younger ones.

They love to play...three boys turned a plastic soda bottle into a makeshift soccer ball. We brought footballs, frisbees, hacky sacks, and jump ropes for them. "Keep-Away" with the football turned into their favorite because 200 of them could play at one time.





Another key part of the orphans upbringing is to make them feel like they are contributing to the welfare of their guardian families. Too often orphans are made to feel unworthy because they are a drain to the family budget. Jerrod and staff know this and do something to correct this by giving the orphans food to bring home to their families. Once a month, the kids take home enough food for a week. Rice, beans, and in this case corn. We sent each kid home with 10 kilos of corn. It was fun to see their excited faces and to watch the little ones lug home all that food. They were singing makeshift songs..."I am bringing home the food, and someone will cook it for all of us". The kids also were given new school uniforms, based on their performance in class. New uniforms for meeting set objectives.

Tenth Anniversary Party!

To celebrate 10 years of existence, Ring Road decided to have a huge party. The invited guests included the Minister of Education as the guest of honor, local newspapers, television and radio reporters and all their neighbors in the slum. We had food prepared for 800 people! We waited in the hot sun for 3 hours for the late arriving minister of education...and when he finally arrived, the medial let him have it...asking why the school was not funded, why they didn't have resources but still put public schools to shame, etc. It was great! At the end of the day, he pledged support to the school. But those are just words...we will wait to see what really happens. Someone called him a "crocodile", which in Swahili is not a compliment.

All the speeches were finally finished around 4:30 in the afternoon. The orphans and neighbors had been waiting for lunch since 11 in the morning. But what a party! The kids sang songs, read their poetry, danced a Harambe (asking individuals to dance with them while collecting a donation from them), and performed skits based on their struggles. It was amazing. The scouts re-built their award winning camp, and gave tours of the classrooms and buildings.

Food for 800 being prepared...



Top Scout in the troop

Mama Mary keeping John cooking

Betsy teaches the kids a new game

Kids in front of a new mural by reknowned artist Ro Diaz

Al handing out treats to the kids

The pictures so far are of works that CRF sponsors. I also got a chance to represent CRF as we evaluated 3 other proposed projects in Kenya. Eldoret, Malindi and Mombasa are 3 other cities that would like to have CRF sponsorship for their orphans. I helped catalog and photograph hundreds of additional orphans. Check out the website and please sponsor a few.

CRF is unique in that you will develop a personal relationship with your orphan. You will get progress reports and letters from the child. There are stories of sponsors that have continued to provide funds for their kid through college. Some even providing wedding costs and baby showers for "grandchildren".

http://www.crf.org

SAFARI!

Okay, It wasn't all gut-wrenching orphan work. I did take one day to do a little touristy stuff. I figured, hey, I am in Africa, I need to go on Safari! So a few of us found a 1 day Safari to East Tsavo National Park. East Tsavo is best known for their lions...these are the ones featured in "Heart of Darkness", the story about man-eating lions slowing down the work on the Kenya Railroad at the turn of the 20th century. Tsavo lions are unique in that the mature males don't have big manes, they look almost maneless. Hmmm, I never knew that.

So here are a few snapshots of the wildlife we saw...

Giraffes were the group's favorite

Big Rhino up close

Here are two of the famous Tsavo lions...the male is on the right

A timid herd of elephants leaving a clearing quickly

One of my favorite shots from a high bluff overlooking a watering hole

It was an extraordinary trip. I now have a burden for Africa and its orphans. The best (and worst) thing happened to me while over there...I found that I care, that I want to help. I call it the worst because I know it will consume me over the next few years. If I don't heed the call, I will fall further from grace. God has asked me to help, how can I say no? think, "what can one person do?" One person can take care of one other person. I can have a vision, but I need an action plan. That is what I will be doing for the next several weeks...formulating my action plan. Starting upon my return, I will try to live a simpler life, and give of my excess.

Will you join me?

Chow!

"T.I.A" Attitude Adjustment Required

We haven't even left for Africa and the difficulty of international travel is rearing its ugly head. Booking airfare as a group means your individual rights are gone...no way to upgrade using your mileage (or favors from your big sister), seat assignments, on-line check in. Besides the airlines and hotel issues add the medical records, proof of birth, shots, currency exchange (here or there?), luggage weight allowances, language, weather, etc.

There is a saying in Africa to remind visitors of what it will be like...TIA-This is Africa! Things will go wrong, expect unexpected hassles, hurdles and understand that schedules and deadlines may have no meaning. I guess that is the excuse used to justify the unorganized, inefficient, and slow services we will experience. I am ready, having traveled around the world for most of my life. But I wonder about my companions...some of whom have never left the beauty and civility of the Pacific Northwest. We seasoned travelers will just have to care for them. "Roll with the punches", "Go with the flow", and "don't have any expectations" will have to be my mantra to counter TIA circumstances. Perhaps I will learn to be more patient upon my return.

I have been anticipating this trip for 2 years now, but am full of fear. Not the typical fear of disease, hunger, heat, mosquitos, danger or death; but I am afraid of what I will feel, see, smell, hear and taste while over there. Mostly my fear is focused on seeing the great need and not wanting to do anything about it. Apathy will be my greatest temptation. I am afraid to pray for faith because that would require action...action I may not be prepared to follow through with. That is too funny...I know my prayers would be answered, and I may not want them to be! But I am going with an open heart, hoping I have the strength and courage to do what is asked of me to do.

Many of you have been asking what our group from NW Church will be doing while we are over there. We have group responsibilities as well as individual assignments. Our group of 11 adults will be leading some teaching, preaching, singing, and ministry classes on Sundays, and will get down to the business of educating and caring for orphans of AIDS the rest of the time. We will be representing an arm of Christian Relief Fund out of Dallas. Our church supports the school by paying the rent, paying the teachers and keeping the buildings going, while CRF feeds, clothes, and cares for the children...about 380 of them at the Ring Road Orphanage and School. Besides Ring Road, we also have a group of children we support in Kitale at the Lakeside Orphanage. We have a fairly diverse group going...teachers, business people, skilled artisans, and me.

While I will help with some teaching, I will also be doing some leg work for CRF. We built an AIDS clinic on site at the request of the US Government who had set aside money for African AIDS grants for abstinence programs. We built the clinic to their specifications but did not get a grant...so we have an unfunded brand new clinic with no doctors, nurses, or counselors. By chance (or was it something else?) an AIDS doctor and missionary came across unsponsored orphans while looking for more sites to build and staff clinics. We know orphans, they know clinics...we may do a little horse-trading while over there. My role will be to see if something creative can end up in a win-win situation. I need to check out new sites for orphan support by evaluating the ministry leaders, the families and churches that will provide the services, and the orphans themselves. I will "process" them by getting their life stories, their picture and data for the CRF database. As with any of these charitable requests, we need to make sure the orphans' needs come first before any political or religious agenda. Pray for my discernment as I will be making recommendations that truly are life and death decisions.

I want to also see if there are opportunities to make the works there more self-sufficient and less reliant on cash donations from abroad. I have been asked to look at micro finance opportunities and I will look for other cottage industry type options like light assembly and manufacturing, or even warehousing. We shall see.

Keep us in your prayers. I think this post will be the last one for a while. I will keep a log and use that to add blog posts and photos upon my return.

Chow!

Father's Day Post

It's Father's Day today, and I wanted to wish all of you fathers out there a great day! You may think your career is the important job of your life, but in reality it is being a good father; one that sticks to it, sacrifices, and loves unconditionally.

My brother and I had the chance to talk about our dad experiences a few weeks ago by phone. We were laughing that Dad never taught us how to ride a bike, never helped us with homework, or talked to us about the opposite sex (unless he was making a joke). However he seemed to instill in us personal drive, generosity, commitment, morality, a love for travel and great food, and how to have fun. Dad is a popular social entertainer, and he is usually the life of the party. He can cook like nobody's business, and if you need someone to catch fish...put the rod in his hands. In my case I also learned to enjoy financial things, real estate, and the outdoors...I think I got that from him. He was always home for dinner, he never had any bad vices (a love for Scotch and Bourbon don't count), and he has stayed married to my mom for 51 years. His hobbies seemed to be ones that improved him somehow. He learned to fly a plane in the 1960's and play tennis in his 50's. He got his real estate license in his 60's and has succeeded in all three of those hobbies. He advanced his flying skills to include jets as big as a 737...he has been club champion in his age group in tennis, and he has turned his love of real estate into a second career after retiring from the US Government. Duke and I decided that it wasn't a big deal to not have that memory of Dad teaching us how to ride a bike...we have better ones. We have seen much of the world because of who our dad is...and we saw that world the way he wanted us to...the way the locals live, what they eat, and how to speak their language (as best you can manage). We never had the cushy posh accommodations, and he forbade us to even ask to eat at a McDonald's when overseas. I secretly cursed him for that one...but now I see, and more importantly, I agree with his perspective.

I find that I am subconsciously imitating him. I find myself saying the same things to my kids that he said to my brother, sisters and me. I guess imitation is the best form of flattery. So, Dad, consider yourself flattered! My kids laugh at how similar I am to Grandpa...they find it funny...I think it is a compliment. I did, however, add to the parental experience. I did teach my kids to ride bikes, how to swim, play sports, and have had those "talks" when the kids were the right age. Unfortunately I am not home for dinner every night, and I am less patient with loved ones as he was with me...this bothers me. But it is almost too late...maybe I will be a better grandfather than a father in that regard. I guess I will have to wait to see if my kids imitate me with their kids.

Our kids have it easier, and we seem "okay" with easing them into the world. Maybe we have the means to do the easing, but I am not sure it is the better way. I think learning about and experiencing some disappointment at a younger age strengthens us and keeps us persevering instead of quitting. We just think they shouldn't have to go through any pain. I don't think fathers believed that just a generation ago...because the reality is that there will be pain in life.

Believe it or not, but this blog has opened up lines of communication between me and my kids and even my parents. I think they like seeing my train of thoughts about personal things like feelings, my upbringing, and my opinions. Maybe it shows them my human side.

Chow!

Bonsai Master

It has been a while, my sincere apologies for those of you who get the update on our lives from my blog space. Work has been crazy, life outside of work has been crazy, and I just haven't had the energy to even think about The Blog of Wu.


I had a flash of inspiration this weekend that I thought I would share with you all. My aunt came to visit us over the weekend; it had been way too long. She only lives about an hour from us, but we only get to see her a couple times a year. I called her to see if she wanted to come over for a visit. She was happy to hear from me, and said that she had been thinking about calling! She had a gift for Melanie...she was looking through her jewelry box and came across a string of pearls that my mom and dad had gotten for her when Dad was stationed in Japan in the 60's. She felt it was a good time to return them to our side of the family, and insisted that they go to my daughter instead of her own granddaughter...Chinese traditions...who can figure.

Anyway, it made a nice excuse for her to visit. Typical of my auntie, she was about 3 hours late. She had to run a few errands, do a little shopping (she always stops at the Asian mall that is on the way to my house), and she slept in. Luckily I know her habits, so I planned dinner for around 4:3o, but told her to come at 1:00. She got here at 4:15. We had a nice dinner, caught up on the latest news about her son, daughter-in-law and baby granddaughter. We spent the late afternoon and evening trimming a Bonsai tree that she had given me when we first moved to Seattle 7 years ago. I had neglected this poor little guy for 6 years. I watered it, moved it indoors in the winter, but had no clue how to trim it up. I was glad she brought her bonsai trimming stuff with her.


My aunt is pretty amazing...she learned about bonsais years ago and decided that she would make this into her hobby. She is truly an artist with it. She told me the romantic history of a monk in China that was trying to capture the beauty of nature that he had seen as a young man. He made miniatures of mountains, waterfalls, and of course, trees. His miniature worlds were put into small dishes, plates and bowls...hence the Chinese translation of "bonsai"... life in a bowl, literally. It was very relaxing sitting there, snipping away overgrown branches, wrapping the unruly ones with copper wire to get them to submit to my idea of how they should develop, and planning years in advance of where I wanted a branch to be. I was trying to imagine how it would look in 5, 10, and 15 years, and tried to trim it accordingly. I got lost in the time, and before I knew it, it was dark. We chatted, trimmed and snacked on fruit for over 3 hours. Now I know why it was a Buddhist monk that first started this...he had some time on his hands to contemplate.

My little bonsai has 3 trees potted in a rock shaped pot, and looks like a mountain. I finished trimming one, and couldn't wait to get to the other two, which I just finished tonight. Here is the work in progress. It is starting to look like an ancient tree, in miniature.

Just what I needed...another hobby! I am going to look for a "project" tree to submit into miniature. I will keep you all updated on my search...it has to be a woody trunked plant that is about 5 years old. Digging it up, planting it in ever decreasing pot sizes should turn it into a miniature...leaves and all.

Chow!

Catching up on the news...

Okay, I know, it has been a while since my last post. I have good excuses, really. I was traveling for work...Chicago and lovely Omaha, we were getting the house on the market, so lots of cleaning, hauling garbage, putting things away, and I have just been lazy. I think the majority has been the lazy business.

Anyway, the remodel is over, the house went on the market 2 weeks ago. The Open House was mobbed, according to the realtor, there were over 50 visitors. Some returned later with measuring tapes to see if their furniture would fit, etc. We decided we would review any offers 1 week after listing. Some agents that brought prospective buyers were kind of shocked at our brazen confidence. Many thought we were over-priced, but all agreed we did a fantastic job on the remodel. Well we got 1 offer on the appointed offer review day. How many offers did we need? The offer came in at 5% below our asking price, which was set at a premium. The realtor asked me what I thought of the offer...I laughed and said, "In this market, who the heck knows what this house is worth?"I thought we were asking a lot initially anyway, but prices have gone up so quickly, who knows? The buyer was afraid of other offers, so she added an escalator clause willing to beat any other legitimate offers by $500, with an upper end of $5500 over the original asking price...crazy! But that told me she was willing to go higher, so we countered closer to our asking price, and she accepted. So, our flip house is now under contract and should close by the end of June. My goal was to get it under contract before June 1, so I am pretty happy. We got our goal of profit as well, so all in all a successful foray. Now I need to find a new project house. I also need to build a spreadsheet to track the improvements, mileage, etc. for our accountant. I am not looking forward to looking at all those Home Depot receipts.

Now that the house is done, Lori and I feel weird just sitting around in the evenings...almost as if we should be doing something...so we just put ourselves to work in our yard...long neglected. It is hard to just relax anymore, but I am sure that ability will come back.

The neighbor down the street from the remodel wants me to take a look at his place...seems he just bought a bigger home in the neighborhood and wants me to do "the magic" on his place. It could use it, too. Looks like 4 different carpenters built it at the same time. But it has potential.

On the family front...Jeff returns from college in a week. Finals are this week. He also just finished his certification for Lifeguarding, so he will have a summer job. He will also look for something else to do, since the pool hours will be limited. Melanie also passed certification, so we will have two lifeguards in the house this summer. She actually started working already since the pool opened Mother's Day weekend. The new manager has been calling me regularly to help her figure out the pumps, filters, chlorinator and heater. I used to be the facilities board member, so I know the ins and outs of the pool system.

I am slowly getting ready for my trip to Africa in July. I know, I haven't said much about it, but it is happening. Lori and I are helping support an AIDS Orphanage in Kisumu, Kenya. The Ring Road Orphanage and School. Our church is heavily involved in feeding, housing and educating about 350 orphans in Kenya. There is always a need there...mosquito netting, clean water, electricity, food, etc. Our role is to pay the rent. Seems a group of Danish businessmen pledged to pay the annual rent, but reneged, leaving a huge whole in the budget. We had been looking for a way to get involved, and this seemed perfect for us. We send enough to cover the annual rent, plus a little more to give the children meat in their diet once a week. That was their number 1 wish...not Gameboys, or Nintendos, but a little meat. How could we refuse? Preparation for this trip involves getting shots, learning a little Swahili to get around (really for bargaining...you know how I hate to pay retail for anything!), and working on donated products. My latest request was made to Oakley for some sunglasses. It is on the wish list of the medical director at the AIDS clinic at the school. I guess the retroviral treatment of HIV leaves some light sensitivities, and Africa is not the place to have sensitivity to light! I am hoping Oakley will kick in a few hundred pairs of sunglasses. We will see. One of my personal goals going over there is to see if I can help them set up a cottage business of some kind. I want to use my business training, food science knowledge and imagination to come up with a business plan for them. I think self-sufficiency is my goal. Gee, let's see...Kenya grows some of the best coffee in the world, I know how to set up a coffee business...hmmm.

I leave for Kenya July 6 and will be gone 20 days. If you feel like making a donation to this effort, leave me a reply in the comments section and I will get in touch with you. I think the toughest struggle is the school getting accreditted. Seems the Kenyan government really doesn't want to give legitimacy to the orphans, but our little school had the student with the highest score on the national exam! Actually the 3rd place finisher as well. So threats to close the school have quieted down. It is amazing at how the children survive and thrive under these types of conditions. I credit their faith in God, and their pure survival instincts. I am expecting to be changed when I go over there. I think I will learn much more than I will teach.

Okay, I promise to make more frequent posts. Any requests?

Chow!