Melanie is smart, sometimes too smart to listen to anyone. She had straight A's through her sophomore year, and when she needed to perform in her junior year (THE key year as far as college applications go), she didn't get it done. Her counselor (that is a separate blog entry) suggested that in order to really stand out from her competition, she should take Advanced Placement classes. Her mother agreed...I was the lone skeptic. "If the counselor suggested it, it can't be wrong." was the explanation used to successfully argue a double dose of AP classes first semester. Melanie was enrolled in AP English and AP Math. Here is the result...AP English "D", AP Math "C". Her 4.0 GPA was now a more pedestrian 3.9. The plan backfired. Instead of helping her college applications, I imagined her applications being tossed aside. It is too easy to blame the "mean" teacher...her failure was not listening to what assignments and work was due when...not writing it down, not organizing her schedule...blah, blah, blah. I was livid, and I let her (and her mother) know. Her SAT scores were okay...1900 out of 2400, slightly higher than average. She did letter for 4 years in Varsity Swimming, but that was it. So that was my reasoning for a less than 50-50 shot at getting in. She did have a killer essay, well-written, descriptive, personal, and entertaining.
My opinion on the strategy for getting into college is simple: 1) high GPA, 2) good SAT scores 3) Varsity Sports (at least 2 letters), 4) Outside activities: church, community, work, etc., and 5) an excellent "personal statement" essay. No need for AP or Honors classes...especially in your senior year...it doesn't help during application time. If you insist on AP and Honors classes, then show up and get an A! I wanted my kids to have fun their senior years...we all get "senioritis", just plan for it! I think the key is #5...nothing sets you apart from every other valedictorian, 3-sport superstar than the essay question. I believe the essay helps the evaluator put a personality to a featureless application. The numbers (GPA and Scores) just weed the massive pile of applications down to a manageable number. It is the rest that helps define WHO the kid is, and will they add to the college atmosphere or detract from it.
The stress on her mom was much heavier than it was on the girl. Secretly, I believe we all put her chances at less than 50-50. Lori had the application process memorized and was constantly nagging Mel to get her stuff done. My memory of my college application days (waaaay back when) was simple: I did all the work, I looked up colleges in the college guide, I sent away for application packets, filled them out myself, asked Mom for a check to include with the application, and mailed them off. My parents interaction in the process was limited to discussing (or arguing) what choices I had made, and then having them write the check for the application fee. I doubt my folks knew what classes I was taking; their only focus was on the grades. Anything less than an A called for a frank discussion with me, not the teacher. That's Asian parents for you. I doubt my folks even knew I had taken SAT's! Seriously! I had to keep my own schedule of application deadlines, etc.
Our involvement today in our kids' college application process is nothing short of complete, it's as if we are the ones going to college. We fuss over the quality of their GPA's, we stress over which classes our baby Einsteins should take, we argue with teachers that dare give our darlings a grade lower than WE want. We even pay for classes to teach them how to take a test, and we plan a special diet for the day of the test. I have friends that are even asking for strategies now, and their kid is only a 10th grader. I guess this is another trait of "helicopter" parents. We want our kids to have advantages, and we will stop at nothing to gain a little advantage over everyone else's kid. Problem is...it is the kid that has to show the initiative and no amount of energy from the parent is going to change that.
MY SAT test day went something like this: The alarm went off, I hit "off" instead of "snooze", woke up late, rushed through a shower, scrounged around for 2-#2's, rushed out the dorm without breakfast, and took the test. No prep classes, no prep booklets, no practice tests, no special protein snacks and brain juice during breaks, and no special studying of the dictionary for help on the verbal section of the test. My results weren't great, but getting into college wasn't as competitive back then. I didn't consider re-taking the test to bring my slightly above average score of 1100 (out of 1600) up. With my 3.92 GPA, my weak test scores, my decent sports abilities (3 Varsity Letters), okay outside activities (work, volunteering), and forgettable essay, I was able to get into 4 decent schools; UVA, UW, Univ. of Florida, and Univ. of Tampa. I was wait-listed for William and Mary. Not bad for an under-achiever! Ha ha.
Don't get me wrong...I am proud of her for even wanting to go to college. I am proud of her accomplishments, her talent, and her brains. I am proud that she got into all the schools she applied to. I thank God for the blessings he put on her. I know it was more than her grades, scores and application. There is a reason she is going to the UW in the fall...to get her pops Husky football tickets! Go Dawgs!
Chow!
