I spend my days (and nights) stressed about work. It can't be healthy to have my mind on work 24/7...but that is the world of a start-up executive. The things I have to worry about don't just involve me or my immediate family anymore. It isn't just about my performance. I now have to worry about a group of employees that are not only depending on me to bring success to our small company; but also a fledgling brand that needs to get off the ground, and about cash flow. That is the new one on me. Trying to stretch 3 weeks worth of money into 3 months creates bad feelings and has me dancing all day. Luckily my sparkling personality has helped to create good credit situations when we have no reason to get it. Things will get better when we get a bridge loan that we have been waiting for for over 2 months! That loan will give us adequate runway to market ourselves, get some bills paid, get us some long-awaited inventory and human capital to grow. This same scene is playing out in hundreds of thousands of start-up businesses just like this one. We'll see if this idea is truly a sustainable one...I think it is.
Fortunately the change in the economic picture hasn't negatively affected us, yet. Unfortunately it is unscrupulous vendors that cause me to lose sleep, go hypertensive, and give me grey hair. If I could only trust vendors...there is that word again, "trust". If I picked one value that is failing American business, it is that one. It seems like we aren't people of our word anymore. We need it all in writing, in contracted legalese, and if not, we can't be held responsible. This is a lesson we are teaching the world...and they have learned it well.
Even with the stress, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Well, that isn't true. I would trade it for a spot where going public or being acquired is a sure thing! I have done more, learned more, and met more influential people in 3 months than in the previous 10 years of working for a large corporation. There is no where, or no one to hide behind. When someone says, "you are the man!", believe them...you are the man. And then go do what a "man" (or wo"man") does...do what you say you will, when you say you will do it. Don't lie, shirk your duty, or relinquish your responsibilities. Take the heat, and take your lumps. Then, and only then can you sleep at night knowing you have done all that you can do.
There, I feel a little better. Unfortunately I didn't come up with earth-shattering insight, but I needed to exhale a little this week. Blow out a little frustration and drop a little negative energy. It hasn't been a great week, but it is over now and that is a great milestone for the state of mind I am in.
Chow!
