Happy Father's Day To Me!

I have been thinking about being a father, and what keeps popping up in my head is a whole collection of memories of my kids as they were growing up. Special memories that make fatherhood such a blessing for me. Here are a few in no particular order...

• Calling home while I was on a business trip and hearing my sweet kids' voices telling me they loved me. When I talk to Melanie on the phone now, I still picture her as a 4 year old with a Dorothy Hamill hair-do. Jeff was such a talker when he was younger...now he is more of a thinker. 
• Having both kids run up and hug my legs when I would come home from work or a business trip. 
• How they each said, "Dada" for the first time...Melanie's was more of a, "dadjy"
• Remembering how they would pronounce words when they were learning to talk. Jeff would walk up to us when he was barely two, holding his arms up and say, "Holdyou?" Meaning he wanted us to pick him up. Melanie at three would wrinkle her nose and say, "I smell somfing." 
• I loved playing in the pool with them. They are both great swimmers now, but when they were learning, it was such great fun. I still crack a smile when I think about Jeff diving through the blow up ring and getting it stuck on his neck. Melanie wearing her goggles everywhere (still does!) and diving down in the deep end to catch a frog for me. 
• Teaching Jeff how to ride a bike, then drive a car, and then how to invest his money. 
• Making home made spaghetti sauce with Melanie in our kitchen and teaching her how to make her favorite beet salad.
• Baptizing Jeff in the Pacific Ocean at Playa Vista. 
• Watching Melanie and her grandpa eating weird foods together in China. They bonded over sashimi and duck tongues. 
• Driving across the country with Jeff as we went to take him to school in Ohio. Just him and me.
• Being in the theater when we discovered Melanie needed glasses at 5 years old. She watched the movie with my oversized glasses on, which was hilarious to see. 
• Quietly sneaking to Jeff's room to secretly watch him play with "Patchy-Pie" and his Beanie Babies...he made the cutest voices for his animals. 
• Melanie playing Godzilla through Jeff's building blocks which he neatly stacked. 
• Her fuzz head days when she wouldn't sit still to eat, so we fed her like a bird...we put food on the window sill and when she went by, she would take a little bit and then continue on with whatever she was doing.
• Jeff's face when he discovered that he really liked ice cream.
• Melanie asking me to take her to try grasshoppers at the local Mexican restaurant. 
• The joy they both had when they received acceptance letters to the schools of their choice. 
• Making our favorite meals for special occasions, and cooking for all their friends when they came over unexpectedly.
• All those band concerts, parades, soccer games, swim meets, football games, and recitals. I love watching my kids perform. 
• I loved the sense of accomplishment they each felt when they presented their savings accounts to me; showing me they met the goal we set before leaving for college.  Their faces were beaming with pride at their accomplishment.
• I remember each of their births in detail. I will never forget the doctors telling me that they each were healthy. 
• I remember the day Lori and I made a decision to keep Melanie when the doctors thought she would be a special needs baby at birth. We thought we would be the best parents for a special needs kid. Her birth was a very special day because she was perfect. 
• Watching my kids sleep. It is so peaceful and comforting to see them sleep no matter what age they are. 
• I loved when they would visit me in the office...I could show them off to my co-workers. 
• I love their smell when I would hold them and they fell asleep. 
• I like how brave they are. They don't cry or complain much when it comes to pain. They are tough. 

There are so many great memories, big and small that make me so proud to be a father. I hope my dad has the same kind of memories that I have of my kids. I'm sure he does...he always jokes about them, so I know he has a list, too.

I love being a father, but I love being "Dad" more. "Father" is my job description, but "Dad" is how my kids see me. So Happy Father's Day to me!

Chow!

Man's Best Friend

We had a bit of a scare today...our little dog, Pepper had to go under emergency surgery. Lori called me with the news that she had taken him in to the vet this morning because he had been lethargic all week, and didn't have an appetite. He even turned his nose up at a Cheetoh she dropped on the floor, and he didn't want to go for a walk. He has been spending all day in his nest under the bed. It turns out that he has a giant growing tumor in his tummy. The growth was so extensive that it was pushing all his internal organs to one side. The vet was hopeful, but she said that she would have to make a decision once she opened him up. If it looked benign, she would remove it as best as she could. If it looked cancerous, she would euthanize him right there on the operating table. His lethargy had a cause, it wasn't the rainy, cold weather, or the long, lonely days he spent in the house by himself. It was a giant growing mass causing him discomfort.

That lethargic behavior is just not like him. He is usually full of spunk, energy, and life. He has the most personality of any dog I have ever known. He actually thinks he is human, or that we are all dogs in his pack. He talks to us, and is pretty good at communicating what he wants from us. He has given us so many funny memories and stories. If you know us, you have heard some of them. My favorite Christmas memories over the past 10 years or so are of Peppy (his nickname) tearing into the presents. He loves to open presents. For a small 18 lb. dog, he is bigger than life.

As Lori was explaining all the options, she sounded strong, upbeat and hopeful. I told her to text the kids to let them know that Pepper may not make it...that is when she lost it and couldn't talk anymore on the phone. She had to hang up and email me later with the latest. I quickly said a prayer for my little friend. He has done nothing but bring our family joy for the past 13 years. He seems much younger, and still has a lot of living to do.

The good news was delivered later that afternoon. The mass was not intertwined with any of his organs, it was a free-floating mass that was growing on his spleen, which was removed. The vet thinks he will recover and give us a few more years of companionship.

That is a great word...companionship. That is his strength and his personal mission statement. He never leaves us, and is always at our side (or on our lap). I used to make fun of people who spent thousands of dollars on their pets. Well, now I am proudly one of those suckers. He is worth every penny. He wasn't my first choice for a dog when we started looking for a pet, but I'm glad he is part of our family. He can't hunt birds, or retrieve ducks, or even pull a sled, but he tries to please me and is smarter than some 7th graders. He has snuggled his way deep into my heart, and I am thankful for that. I always tease the kids and tell them that I "hate Pepper"...that I "hate having to love him." The kids think that is funny, and say, "we knew you loved him."

I want to tell my little "companion" that I really do love him, and wouldn't trade him for anything. I hope he recovers quickly, and that he has years of healthy living ahead of him.

Chow!