My last teenager just got her driver's license on Tuesday. This is the final sign that we are officially becoming empty nester's. I have been nagging her since August to study, practice, and take her driver's license test so she can be one of the "cool" kids and drive herself to school. She was content to let her mom drive her everywhere...since Mom was on speed dial and was willing to jump at a moment's notice to pick her up or drop her off at all hours of the day and night. But no amount of coercion could convince her to take that last driving test. She had already aced the written part.
Secretly, I think she was worried about not passing. So she let that beautiful, nice, 2000 RAV-4 sit in the driveway. Her mom made her drive them both to school, to band events, and even to do her paper route, but that car was sitting there begging for her to drive it, and she did nothing really to get her independence. Don't ask me why I was so eager for her to get her independence. I wanted her to get a social life, and become less dependent on us, I guess.
I would drag her out on Saturdays to practice her parallel parking...I don't know, isn't that the toughest part of the driving test? I just thought it would build her confidence. I even made her set goals for herself...ones that she wouldn't reach, for some reason. She promised she would get her license before her cousins came to visit at Thanksgiving...that came and went. Another promise during Christmas break was broken.
Well, she called on Tuesday saying she passed her driver's test on the first try! She was pretty proud of herself and immediately went out to get a parking permit for the school parking lot. She now feels, "normal" whatever that means. She pulled off the parallel parking in one try. She said the test was easier than she thought, and that she was worried for nothing...so it was true! She was afraid of failure!
I never worried about her as a driver. She is a good driver, in command and control, and relaxed behind the wheel...or so it seems. She has decision-making issues like all new drivers, but overall I am not too worried about her. I actually worried more about my son, but maybe that is because he was the first one.
Anyway, she is now happy she has her license (duh!), and feels cool pulling up to the parking lot with all the other upper classmen (another duh!). She will never admit that I was right, but the way she wanted to surprise me with the news tells me it was on her mind...right at the very top.
I am not so happy about the added insurance costs, cough, cough, but it is a rite of passage that all kids have to go through. I am really happy for her (and her mom!). Now her mom has all that extra time in the morning that she doesn't know what to do with.
For all of you kids out there stressing about that driving test, think about this...you only need 80% to pass...that isn't too hard. You can almost cause an accident and still pass...maybe not, but close. Too many times you all are focusing on perfection. Not necessary with that final driving exam. So, focus on passing, not perfection. Okay, enough advice. Be careful out there, there is now one more teen driver on the road.
Chow!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Birthday Boy...Birthday Man
Valentine's Day happens to also be my oldest "child's" birthday. He turned 20 this past week, and it caused me to really think about a day when I can't consider him a child. He is already so grown up, independent, less reliant on his parents. We are at that awkward stage in life...in between taking care of him, and letting him take care of himself.
This is the point in child-parent relationships that nobody tells you about. You have to face it all on your own. It is a strange, weird feeling. When your children are your babies; totally dependent on you for their care, it is easy to assume that role. Raising them is the objective...caring for them is definition of the word, parent. Making sure they are well-cared for IS athe job of a parent. Even through high school, they NEED so much from us parents.
Now that he is 20, a sophomore in college, and thinking about careers, an adult life, and more importantly, a separate life, it gets tough. There is a feeling that we are starting to intrude on his life. I ask myself, what is my role now? Consultant? Advisor? Certainly not raising him anymore. No sense nagging him anymore...if he hasn't grasped hold of the meaning of life now, it is probably too late. The switch from primary caregiver to whatever I am now happened so quickly. It caught me by surprise. I sent him a nice e-mail on his birthday, talking about my 20th birthday, and then it dawned on me...our relationship is changing. I don't FEEL like his Dad anymore. I am not sure what I am, but not a Dad.
Seriously, I can't believe how amazing he is as a son. He really makes me proud. And that is the sad part...it is as if I am admiring him from afar. I am not able to toss him up in the air and make him laugh anymore. I can't fix his hair, tie his shoes, teach him to ride his bike, or tuck him in bed. I have to watch him live his life from an outsider's perspective. I have noticed that my wife and I are reliving some of those early parts of our kid's lives...remembering the funny way they pronounced words, the cute stories from their childhood; maybe that is my way of trying to slow it all down.
I remember what I wanted at his age...I wanted the respect from my father. I wanted him to know that I was capable of making good decisions, I knew what I wanted, and I was on my way to getting it; all without his help. My mom will always be my mom, and I will always let her take care of me, but with Dads it is different. Sons must show fathers their abilities and be released.
So, for his birthday present, I guess I will give him my respect as a man, and become his friend. I will let his mom take care of him. I will just love him, and hope to be a great example for him.
Chow!
This is the point in child-parent relationships that nobody tells you about. You have to face it all on your own. It is a strange, weird feeling. When your children are your babies; totally dependent on you for their care, it is easy to assume that role. Raising them is the objective...caring for them is definition of the word, parent. Making sure they are well-cared for IS athe job of a parent. Even through high school, they NEED so much from us parents.
Now that he is 20, a sophomore in college, and thinking about careers, an adult life, and more importantly, a separate life, it gets tough. There is a feeling that we are starting to intrude on his life. I ask myself, what is my role now? Consultant? Advisor? Certainly not raising him anymore. No sense nagging him anymore...if he hasn't grasped hold of the meaning of life now, it is probably too late. The switch from primary caregiver to whatever I am now happened so quickly. It caught me by surprise. I sent him a nice e-mail on his birthday, talking about my 20th birthday, and then it dawned on me...our relationship is changing. I don't FEEL like his Dad anymore. I am not sure what I am, but not a Dad.
Seriously, I can't believe how amazing he is as a son. He really makes me proud. And that is the sad part...it is as if I am admiring him from afar. I am not able to toss him up in the air and make him laugh anymore. I can't fix his hair, tie his shoes, teach him to ride his bike, or tuck him in bed. I have to watch him live his life from an outsider's perspective. I have noticed that my wife and I are reliving some of those early parts of our kid's lives...remembering the funny way they pronounced words, the cute stories from their childhood; maybe that is my way of trying to slow it all down.
I remember what I wanted at his age...I wanted the respect from my father. I wanted him to know that I was capable of making good decisions, I knew what I wanted, and I was on my way to getting it; all without his help. My mom will always be my mom, and I will always let her take care of me, but with Dads it is different. Sons must show fathers their abilities and be released.
So, for his birthday present, I guess I will give him my respect as a man, and become his friend. I will let his mom take care of him. I will just love him, and hope to be a great example for him.
Chow!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
2nd Celebrity Encounter...sort of
I got back to my apartment on "Super Tuesday" to 3 messages on my phone...the first message was from Mitt Romney making sure I voted for him at the primary elections...nope. Second message was Mitt Romney asking if he could count on me at the California primary...delete.
The third message had me...it was Scarlett Johannsen. Sounded just like her, and then she said her name..."Hi, don't hang up, this is Scarlett Johannsen and I wanted to remind you about how important today's primary voting is..." Wow, Scarlett called me to remind me to make my voice heard. Then she said the magic words..."Barack Obama". Okay, no deleting this one, let her finish her plea. Plus, I like the sound of her voice better than Mitt's. Sorry Mitt, it is just that you sound like you are reading your message to me off of a script. Scarlett sounded like she was talking to me, PERSONALLY. She deserves an Academy Award nomination for best actress for the phone message she left. Oh, and she is darned cute!
I told you all before, I am a solid conservative that wants Barack for President. I can't explain it other than my need for change. I don't see it in Hilary (her life is full of special interest ownership), and I am afraid the John McCain will not be able to enact the change we need in the US.
Unfortunately Hillary took California. Washington State settles things today. Obama seems to be a cash-making machine...that usually bodes well for candidates. I see a strong finish for him, and hopefully he slides into the National Democratic Convention with enough support to put himself on the ballot. I think a great strategic move would be to announce his running mate now. I think John Edwards would help him take it...
Life in LA continues to shock me. I am amazed daily at the displays of wealth (or pseudo-wealth). I am dazed by the focus on physical beauty. If SoCal was a swimming pool it would be only 6 inches deep it's entire length it is sooo shallow.
My friend LR took me to Aunt Kezzie's for lunch the other day...now that was real food! Awesome southern comfort food. I had the smothered pork chops, cabbage, corn bread, red beans and rice, and dressing and gravy (don't you dare say "stuffing"!) I will go back for more cornbread, fried chicken (looked amazing!), ribs, and greens.
My co-workers have been dragging me to all kinds of California natural places, raw food restaurants, organic, local, etc. The raw food restaurant Cafe Euphoria was unique...the food is not cooked at all, but they seem to be able to duplicate (well, that is a little bit of a stretch) breads, meats and other foods that normally NEED heat to make. I had a Cocao-Euphoria "sandwich". Some dried leathery "bread" with coconut jerky (the meat substitute), lettuce, guacamole, and dried fruit. It was tasty, and the texture was reminiscent of meat and bread...sort of. It was a little chewy, but the flavor was good. The unexpected part was how it left my body the next day. We will leave out the details, but "violent" describes it best. I could actually feel the scraping action on my colon. Oh, I said I would leave out the details. Sorry!
After a few weeks of organic, I rebelled and had to have a burger. I took a friend to The Counter in Santa Monica. If you love burgers, this is a must stop for you. It is like In-n-Out meets Starbucks. The level of personalization is amazing. The quality of the ingredients are superb. They don't hand you a menu, they hand you a clipboard with blueprints on how to build a burger. Pick a meat (the beef is Niman Ranch, the Chicken is Rosie, and the Turkey is local, heirloom), even a veggie burger. Pick a bun...English Muffin (homemade), Honey Wheat (same), and Homemade White. Soft, doughy, fresh...yum! Pick your toppings next. 16 types of cheese, and over 30 other toppings of vegetables, fruits, pickles, onions, chili, salsa...you get the idea. Pick your sauce...no need to explain the variety of mustards, ketchups, bbq sauce, and Teriyakis. Pick your sides...less choices here...yummy sweet tater fries, regular garlic fries, onion rings, and 50/50's of each. For those of you that can't decide, they do have a few pre-made uncustomized burgers. You can even get your burger in a bowl (bunless). I will have to go back because I saw so many other toppings I want to try. I did a 2/3 lb. well-done beef, honey whole wheat bun with jalapenos, avacado and chili, with a 50/50 sweet and regular fries, and an Arnold Palmer to drink.
LR promised me a list of "musts" restaurants on his local hit list. Game on! He and a co-worker had a 15 minute "argument" on which place in LA had the best hot dogs. I think arguments need to be resolved the old fashioned way...I will just have to try them all and decide for myself!
Life in LA continues on...more stories to come.
Chow!
The third message had me...it was Scarlett Johannsen. Sounded just like her, and then she said her name..."Hi, don't hang up, this is Scarlett Johannsen and I wanted to remind you about how important today's primary voting is..." Wow, Scarlett called me to remind me to make my voice heard. Then she said the magic words..."Barack Obama". Okay, no deleting this one, let her finish her plea. Plus, I like the sound of her voice better than Mitt's. Sorry Mitt, it is just that you sound like you are reading your message to me off of a script. Scarlett sounded like she was talking to me, PERSONALLY. She deserves an Academy Award nomination for best actress for the phone message she left. Oh, and she is darned cute!
I told you all before, I am a solid conservative that wants Barack for President. I can't explain it other than my need for change. I don't see it in Hilary (her life is full of special interest ownership), and I am afraid the John McCain will not be able to enact the change we need in the US.
Unfortunately Hillary took California. Washington State settles things today. Obama seems to be a cash-making machine...that usually bodes well for candidates. I see a strong finish for him, and hopefully he slides into the National Democratic Convention with enough support to put himself on the ballot. I think a great strategic move would be to announce his running mate now. I think John Edwards would help him take it...
Life in LA continues to shock me. I am amazed daily at the displays of wealth (or pseudo-wealth). I am dazed by the focus on physical beauty. If SoCal was a swimming pool it would be only 6 inches deep it's entire length it is sooo shallow.
My friend LR took me to Aunt Kezzie's for lunch the other day...now that was real food! Awesome southern comfort food. I had the smothered pork chops, cabbage, corn bread, red beans and rice, and dressing and gravy (don't you dare say "stuffing"!) I will go back for more cornbread, fried chicken (looked amazing!), ribs, and greens.
My co-workers have been dragging me to all kinds of California natural places, raw food restaurants, organic, local, etc. The raw food restaurant Cafe Euphoria was unique...the food is not cooked at all, but they seem to be able to duplicate (well, that is a little bit of a stretch) breads, meats and other foods that normally NEED heat to make. I had a Cocao-Euphoria "sandwich". Some dried leathery "bread" with coconut jerky (the meat substitute), lettuce, guacamole, and dried fruit. It was tasty, and the texture was reminiscent of meat and bread...sort of. It was a little chewy, but the flavor was good. The unexpected part was how it left my body the next day. We will leave out the details, but "violent" describes it best. I could actually feel the scraping action on my colon. Oh, I said I would leave out the details. Sorry!
After a few weeks of organic, I rebelled and had to have a burger. I took a friend to The Counter in Santa Monica. If you love burgers, this is a must stop for you. It is like In-n-Out meets Starbucks. The level of personalization is amazing. The quality of the ingredients are superb. They don't hand you a menu, they hand you a clipboard with blueprints on how to build a burger. Pick a meat (the beef is Niman Ranch, the Chicken is Rosie, and the Turkey is local, heirloom), even a veggie burger. Pick a bun...English Muffin (homemade), Honey Wheat (same), and Homemade White. Soft, doughy, fresh...yum! Pick your toppings next. 16 types of cheese, and over 30 other toppings of vegetables, fruits, pickles, onions, chili, salsa...you get the idea. Pick your sauce...no need to explain the variety of mustards, ketchups, bbq sauce, and Teriyakis. Pick your sides...less choices here...yummy sweet tater fries, regular garlic fries, onion rings, and 50/50's of each. For those of you that can't decide, they do have a few pre-made uncustomized burgers. You can even get your burger in a bowl (bunless). I will have to go back because I saw so many other toppings I want to try. I did a 2/3 lb. well-done beef, honey whole wheat bun with jalapenos, avacado and chili, with a 50/50 sweet and regular fries, and an Arnold Palmer to drink.
LR promised me a list of "musts" restaurants on his local hit list. Game on! He and a co-worker had a 15 minute "argument" on which place in LA had the best hot dogs. I think arguments need to be resolved the old fashioned way...I will just have to try them all and decide for myself!
Life in LA continues on...more stories to come.
Chow!
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