Over-Indulging Our Kids

I saw the best quote from a recent visitor to the US upon his return to Kenya. When asked about the most amazing thing he experienced in the US, he answered...

"American children have the most well-behaved parents in the world."

I read this in our local newspaper this morning and had a good chuckle about it. But after thinking about it, it makes me wonder about our future generations. Are we indulging our children just a little too much? Mom's chauffeur service is now 24/7, and is just a cellphone call away.

My teenage kids favorite show lately is MTV's "Super Sweet 16 Birthday Bash". It is entertaining for them to see the excessive behavior at its best (or is that worst?). Encouraging bratty behavior, whining, self-indulging, and selfishness may not be good to watch. I think the girls who get these kinds of birthday parties end up on WE's "Bridezilla" show at some later point in life. Parents just haven't said "no" enough to their children. They have gotten zero teaching on what is reasonable, how to share, how to play nicely, and in general, how to respect others.

My daughter just turned 16 yesterday, and thank goodness she has had a pretty reasonable upbringing. Even though we indulge her (she has a car available to drive, cell phone, i-Pod, etc.), she feels guilty asking for things. Whew! Big sigh of relief...in that department. But still, she is immune to real hardship, hard work, and disappointment. She has a part time job delivering newspapers in the neighborhood...but she does it while being driven around by her mom! No bike route or, heaven forbid, walking!

I think we have mistaken that for good parenting. Successful child-rearing has become what that African visitor has noticed...kids reliant on their parents to keep them from enduring any amount of disappointment and sacrifice. We say we want "the best" for our kids, so we help them be successful, getting involved where we shouldn't and shielding them from failure. We forget that hard work leads to discipline, satisfaction, and self-respect. Sacrifice leads to patience, commitment and joy. When handled properly, disappointment can lead to learning, determination, and accomplishment. What do kids learn when disappointment is avoided and success is given to them? They learn entitlement, and to expect success at everything. That isn't part of growing up.

Okay, parents, try to pull yourself out of that role of over-involved and protective. It worked on you, and look how well you turned out!

Ciao!