Foreign Exchange Student

We have a foreign exchange student staying with us for a couple of weeks of home stay. I think the exchange group was looking for "typical" American families to place the kids into. Not sure if we fit that profile, but poor Elisa got us. I asked what the objectives were for the students, and the group leader said that they hoped their German kids would get a taste of a typical American Teenagers' life. So, after about a week, these are the conclusions I come to about typical American Teens:

1. They aren't as smart (or driven) as the teens in the rest of the world. I started "seeing" what Elisa was seeing and I started asking her what she thought about different observations she made and pointed out. She said that in Europe the kids spend the school day learning, while it seemed that American kids worked hard at avoiding learning. She said that here, there are more social events (pep rally, school assemby) built into their day. She was amazed at how easy the course loads were, even in the AP and Honors level classes. She says the motives of kids in her school are about passing difficult final exams and hoping to land a spot in the university because there are more hopefuls than the schools can handle. She speaks 3 languages fluently, and adds latin studies to help her meet her university requirements. How many of our kids are like that? Elisa is not an over-achiever, she feels she is typical and average in her school.
2. American Teens focus on social aspects of school v. educational opportunities. Elisa is very smart, she notices that kids here spend way more time and energy trying to get in with the right crowds, have other kids like them, and find their space in the pecking order of the HS hallway. She says in Germany, there isn't that much of an opportunity to behave that way. The first social dance her school had ever had was last year when it put on a winter ball. And that dance was the result of 18 kids from last year's visit to America wanting to start a similar tradition to our Homecoming. I think German kids feel the same things, but they can't obsess about them when they are in demanding classes all day. She seemed dumbfounded at the idea of Cheerleaders and Drill Team and wondered why this small group controlled the social structure and hierarchy of the school.
3. American Teens eat way too much. Maybe the world is right, America is obese because our portions sizes are too big. Here is what this German 18 year old eats in a typical day: a small glass of orange juice, a half serving of cereal with milk for breakfast. Half a sandwich, small yogurt and 10 grapes for lunch, and 1 small serving of whatever we are having for dinner (protesting at how full she was after 1 meatball with her spaghetti). When another host family took her and a friend to Dick's Drive In (best burgers, fries and shakes in Seattle) she had 1 cheeseburger, no fries and she split a milk shake with her friend. That seemed like an appetizer when I compare her eating habits to my own 16 year old (who is a perfectly buff and trim size 0), I was amazed. To be fair, my daughter does swim competitively which burns calories and makes her ravenous. But it is the "what" as well as the "how much" that is strikingly different. No junk food, no soda (juice and water when she is thirsty), and the only candy I saw her eat was gum. When I asked her and a friend the biggest difference between her house and ours, they both gave the same answer, which to me means they have discussed this...they said they couldn't believe how huge our refrigerators are over here. Okay, maybe there is a direct correlation between obesity rates and cubic inches of refrigeratiors.
4. American Teens have way too much money. Elisa stresses about how much things cost, understanding the sacrifice her parents made just to send her here. She seems to understand the value of things, and doesn't just expect to be given anything because she wants it, or "needs it". When one of her friends lost a cell phone loaned to her by her host family, all of them worried about finding it, how to replace it if it couldn't be found...to the point that none of them could enjoy the sight-seeing they were doing. When the lost phone was found, it was a major celebration and relief because it had real value to them, and they felt responsibility in the loss. Most of the Americans thought, "no big deal, they can just get a new one". She is amazed that most of her American peers all either had their own car, or a car to use whenever they wanted. She will get drivers education fees as her graduation present because it is such an expense for her parents.

Maybe I am too hard on our teens, and that privilege comes with the "American Dream" package. But I am presenting the American Teen from the perspective of a German Teen...this is what she is seeing and learning about our culture from her short 3 week stay. I hope we put or best foot forward and also taught her that we are a caring people, generous to a fault, and that we love our children so much that we are blind to the ways we might actually be hurting them.

Let me close with one more observation...teen girls the world over are still mesmerized by the shopping mall, "the best American invention ever", according to Elisa.

Chow!