Trust Issues

Everything lately seems to be pointing to one key value in my life...trust. Who can I trust? Who can I rely on? Can I be trusted? Why the testing? It is hard to get into too great of detail, but let's just say that the key word for me lately is that one.

I believe myself to be a trustworthy individual. I have always prided myself on being able to give people my word, and then follow through with those promises. My wife thinks I am too trusting of others, and I let others take advantage of me. I just might be a little too trusting, but I am also a firm believer that things even out in the end. I am also quick to enter into "trusting" relationships because I believe myself to be a good judge of character. I believe I have a good reputation; one that friends and business associates are willing to extend themselves on.

Now from that firm foundation I find myself in a different situation. Professionally, small cracks are starting to appear...I find myself saying things in a deliberate, purposeful and scripted way. It is hard for me because I am usually a "shoot-from-the-hip" kind of guy. I tell it like it is, and that's that. What's different is the fact that now more than just my job and career are on the line...I have broader and deeper responsibilities that involve others' jobs, careers and futures. It is a much tougher position to be in. I have to be careful with what I say, measured in how much I reveal, and my words carefully chosen. It has been explained to me that I now have "fiduciary responsibility." I find it a lonely and much too guarded of a place.

I am asking for more trust from others, without giving it in return...that is a strange feeling for me. My true inner circle of trusted relationships is shrinking; yet it appears as if I am bringing many more into it. They believe they are in that inner circle, but in reality they may not be.

I realize that as you read this you are wondering what sinister plotting is going on...relax, it is nothing that serious. It is merely a change in philosophy for me...one that is taking some getting used to.

My favorite lawyer joke:

Q) How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A) His lips are moving.

How can you tell when I can and can't be trusted? Ask me to look you in the eyes...

Chow!