"Longer than me..."

"How long do you want your daughter to live?"

I was exchanging e-mails with a friend of mine back in Seattle, and she was sharing some tough news...our mutual friends from church have been going through a very tough 3 years or so. Their 6 year old daughter, Jenna, is fighting a losing battle with cancer. It has been a horrible rollercoaster ride for them as the cancer went into remission, came back, seemed to be ebbing, and now finally the really bad news. Little Jenna has been through every treatment available, and last week the cancer board at Children's Hospital in Seattle had a tough question for her parents..."How long do you want your daughter to live?"

As a parent, I never want to hear that question asked of me. Kill me before you ask me that one. How does one answer that question? That question has to be the most misplaced, mistaken, and depressing question in the world. That is not the dream parents have for their children when they are born. Our children's lives are supposed to be full of potential; they are to live a lifetime's worth of fulfillment, and enjoy long lives filled with love, family, and achievement. Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children. Being asked that question crushes a parent's dreams and devalues their purpose in life.

What do you say to Jenna's parents? There aren't words that can comfort, ease the guilt, or ease the pain. "She's a fighter. She has lived a life filled with love. She has changed people's lives with her strength, courage and faith in God. You should be proud of her. She will be in a better place." All said with a forced smile, a pat on the shoulder or a hug. But empty and hollow in effect. How do they keep their faith and belief in God? I am guessing they face it one day at a time.

What do Jenna's parents say to the doctors caring for their daughter? How do you decide how long your baby should be with you? There isn't a right answer, is there?

If you believe in the power of prayer, please keep Jenna and her family in your prayers. Pray for another miracle, pray for peace, pray that her parents don't blame each other or themselves. Pray for their faith to remain in God, and that he gives them understanding.

Go hug your kids, your parents and your friends. We can never express our love and appreciation enough.

Chow!