Back from Africa

My friends have been asking me how my trip to Africa was. It is hard to explain it unless you have gone to a developing country to help. It is hard to share experiences that are difficult to describe, explain, or understand. The easiest way might be just to share stories that happened along the way.

First of all, I continue to meet amazing people on my travels. The people in Africa amaze me at their dedication, resilience, and pure faith. My fellow wazungus (whitey) also amaze me with their selfless service, love, compassion and generosity. 

I am learning new things every time I go to Africa, some of the lessons are harsh and not very pleasant to learn, but they are so very vital.

Lesson #1: Money is a curse as well as a blessing (duh!)

I guess I better explain this one a little more with a story. Our second Sunday we found ourselves worshipping with a very small congregation in Malindi, Kenya. This church was started by the Karabu family...12 brothers and sisters that live locally and work with the less fortunate. Two of the brothers decided to start a school on a small plot of land near the church. It is constructed of mud, rocks and sticks, but almost 200 kids between 1st and 4th grades attend. The church has a fundraising, or Harambe every month or so to meet the expenses of the school. We happened to be attending on Harambe Sunday. The fundraising part would be in the form of a food auction. Bid on various food items and win. They also add a fun element to the proceedings. They can accept up to 4 high bids, and then pick a winner through a raffle method.  So, first up was a dish of Kuku stew and Ugali (Chicken and polenta). You could buy the dish outright for 200 shillings ($3), or 4 people could put in 50 shillings a piece and they would pick a winner out of those 4, and the other 3 losers go hungry. I decided to just buy a plate and give it to three orphan boys who had no money to bid. I did the same with 5 hard boiled eggs (20 shillings each).  At one point I held up a 1,000 shilling note and told the auctioneers that I would pay 100 shillings for every ripe mango they could find. They brought me a basket of 40 ripe mangos! I had to find 3 other people in my group to help me pay for them all. I then just started handing out mangos to the crowd gathered. 

It was after this Mango Madness that I first noticed the women were getting a little agitated with the process so I asked one of the elders what was up. He explained that the white people in our group were bidding too high, and the villagers could not participate. For example the plate of chicken and ugali normally goes for 5-10 shillings per share (4 bidders getting a chance). We had driven the price up to 5 times the normal level! The locals were worried that there wasn't going to be enough for them to win! So we quickly changed the situation by stopping our high bidding after a plate or two, and letting the locals have the remaining 5-6 platefuls. Their overall donations were up because of us, but so also was the stress and hard feelings. Our attempt to be generous was causing issues because the locals couldn't keep up, and it was important for them to support their own school cause. It was an eye-opener for me. 

Africans are willing to help, but if we don't let them, they will just stand on the sidelines and wait for us westerners to jump in. If we set the parameters too high, they won't feel involved nor empowered. 

Be on the lookout for more stories and lessons...

Chow!

Empty-Nest

My youngest just graduated from high school over the past weekend. It is a strange feeling to realize that the house will be empty most of the time now. It has been slowly happening for a few years now, but the finality of it all hit me on Saturday night as I was cleaning the patio after her party. Our life as parents of "dependents" is over. Sure, they will always be our kids, and need something, but they are not dependent solely on us anymore. 

I worry that she is not ready for this type of independence...but then who ever is? When I look back over the past 18 years, I don't want to even admit that she is ready to go. One of our traditions is to make a "Then and Now" board of pictures to show friends and family at the party. There are various pictures of the kids that have eerily similar snapshots of them much older. Melanie playing dress-up as a 5 year old juxtaposed to her prom pictures...sniff, sniff. Melanie in her blow-up swimmies vs. her on the podium at a swim meet. You get the idea...I was amazed at how her interests have remained constant over the years...music, swimming, and culture. 

The most fun I had was talking to adults that know her from her school or at work. To hear their comments about how responsible she is (really?), how confident, smart, clever, diligent, etc. puffs me up with pride. She was selected as the John Phillip Sousa winner in the music department...huh? The band department head spoke of her ability to play almost any instrument with confidence and skill. He asked her to move to tuba this year, and she has excelled. He loved her attitude, her willingness to help her fellow students, and her dedication to being a great musician. This is the girl I can't get to remember to turn her lights off in her room. 

Her senior project was so well accepted not only by the school, but also by the town council of our hometown! I was surprised in an amazing way. More adults want to hear her presentation, buy her book and get to know her because of the topic she selected and the work she put into her project. She even has a job offer for the summer from the Burien Historical Society. She will be presenting her project to the Town Council of our hometown later this summer. She is gaining experience presenting in real situations to high-level officials. I can't be prouder of her.

I can't wait to see what kind of adult she will become while away at school! 

Her graduation party was the highlight for her. She was afraid it was going to be a small affair with just family present because many of her friends were already committed to other events that evening. Well, she still had a crowd of about 40 show up. We almost ran out of food! No, I am kidding...a Wu never runs out of party food. I planned a great finger-food menu of Teriyaki Chicken Wings, Vietnamese Spring Rolls, Larb Lettuce Cups (never heard of them? Yum!), my Fried Chicken Macaroni Salad (Double Yum), Grilled Shrimp, and sandwich platters. For dessert we had cake (of course), a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN, and later, S'Mores on the patio. We set up the Guitar Hero and had battle after battle. Kids, adults, everyone played. She was impressed with the party and was gushing with thanks to her mom and me...that was a first. She was actually pleased with the outcome! We didn't disappoint her! WooHoo!

I think her pleasure was really based on the fact that it was all about her. She has always felt that she lived in her big brother's shadow, but this week was about her accomplishments, and she finally realized that she measured up. Not that we have made those comparisons, but she had, and she is happy with the results.

Like I said...I can't wait to see how this springboards her to success as an adult. This was the perfect ending to her HS career...now she has the confidence to know she can succeed in college.

Chow!

Where did the time go?

Crap! Leaving for Africa in 6 days and not ready yet. Last time we went to Kenya, I had weeks to prepare and ready my mind, organize my projects, and plan a worthy agenda. Not this time. Too much going on with family events (Melanie's graduation from HS), work events (getting a deal closed), more work events (trying to help a friend start a company), and even more work events (helping another friend start another company). 

I want to bag it all, take two weeks off to meditate, and then figure things out, but I don't have that luxury. It isn't about me anyway...that is what I have to keep telling myself. The busyness of life is Satan's way of keeping my mind off of what is true religion...helping orphans and widows in their distress.  Too often I justify the busyness of my life by calling all this interest "God's blessings". I am not sure that is the truth. I AM sure of what is the truth...the work we do with Christian Relief Fund with AIDS/HIV orphans in Kenya, Tanzania and other places in Sub-Sahara Africa. 

I have 6 days to focus my heart and mind on that. It is tough...everyone seems to want a piece of me lately. 

A group of 6 of us leave Wednesday the 1st of July for Kenya...a group of 13 from Amarillo, TX will join us in Amsterdam along the way. Our mission is to help several groups of AIDS orphans and the men and women ministering to them. Francis Bii in Eldoret is a saint. In two short years (since our last visit), he has fed, educated, cared for, and ministered to hundreds of orphans in the name of God. He is not only taking care of the orphans, but entire villages affected by disease, drought, political strife, or just plain hunger. I am amazed at how much he does with so little we give him. So, when we land in Eldoret, the 19 of us are going to do a few things: 1) build desks for the school he has started; 2) maybe buy the school for him; 3) fund another microfinance project or two; 4) just show him some love to let him know he is not doing things in vain, and that we notice.

The rest of the time we will be back at our favorite place, Kisumu, and the Nyalenda Slum. Jared Odhiambo has turned part of that large slum into a refuge of education, healthcare, spiritual warfare, and normalcy for hundreds of AIDS orphans. The people there need us to help them figure out what is next for their little community...how do we expand what they already do well? How do we commercialize things to make them sustainable? Again, we will turn to Microfinance to see what can be done for the people. We will also do some housekeeping and paint classrooms, repair things, and re-stock supplies as necessary.

I am excited to go. I am unprepared, which is unlike me. I hope a wave of panic hits me soon and drives me to get ready! For now, I need to clear my mind of the clutter that has filled it lately, and focus on what is real.

Chow!

Not Sure Ray Kroc Had This in Mind...

The post on my FB wall needed a little deciphering, "Wuster, are we going for a McGangBang or McWhitey before I have to eat sensibly again? I am out of here on Wed..." My friend Matt from the UK was in LA visiting our mutual buddy, Jana and he was tired of eating healthy foods. Why he turned to me for help in eating unhealthily boggles me. Earlier in the year we had a FB conversation about a controversial McDonald's non-menu item circulating the blogosphere. We jokingly said we had to try it. That time had come.

Jana was in no mood to join in on our grubfest, so we left her in her jammies (at 6 pm? c'mon Jana!) to seek the mythical meal. I guess I'd better describe the objects of our quest: Legend tells of a mythical meal that can be ordered at McD's...a McGangBang. Not your politically correct naming convention, but attention-grabbing for sure. Born from late-night, after party, post drunk feasting (as most of these monstrosities are), the McGangBang is two sandwiches shoved into one jaw-stretching beast. It is built from a Double Cheeseburger with an entire McChicken sandwich inside. Yes, the whole thing...bun, beef, cheese, bun, chicken patty, lettuce, mayo, bun, beef, cheese, onions, condiments and finally another bun. Yeah...someone says, "bring on the Plavix!" 

But where does one begin the quest to slay the mythical beast? We began our search a mere 6 blocks from the home in Santa Monica. Too refined, we thought? What better test of an urban legend than to try it here. Remember, I did say my buddy Matt is from the UK, so we played the tourist role. Camera-ready, full British accent tweaked, we approached the counter. "We would like a McGangBang, please." Tony, operating the register blinked once, twice and then cleared his throat..."wha?" This time slower, with descriptions and hand gestures, "you know, the secret menu sandwich." Still, no response. He kept pointing to the menu above him, saying "I think you need to order off the menu, we can't make that." Jaime the manager walked by and asked if Tony was having a problem. We asked Jaime the same question, "can we order a McGangBang?" Jaime has been around the block so he knew exactly what we wanted, "Oh yeah, two burgers, cheese and a McChicken?" Hallelujah! He shoved Tony aside to show him how to ring it up. He said, "We have been getting a few of these orders every week." Then he went to the back prep area to show them how to put it together.  Then Matt stumped him...he asked for the McWhitey sandwich. Even though he hadn't heard of that one, Jaime was game and asked us what that one was. We explained carefully that it was two Filet-o-Fish sandwiches with a McChicken sandwich in the middle...extra tartar sauce. So, bun, fish, cheese, tartar, bun, chicken patty, lettuce, mayo, bun, fish, cheese, tartar, and a bun on top. Jaime's fingers were a blur on the register as he punched 4-5 buttons to get this one to ring up. Most of the rings are from the Dollar Menu, so it is a pretty fair value. Our total? Around $11 for the sandwiches, fries, and Jaime threw in for drinks. What a guy. The girls in back were laughing as they built the sandwiches, but our quest was almost over. Mission almost-accomplished.

Okay, the ordering is done, food has arrived. It is beautiful to behold...well not beautiful, maybe more like a wonder to behold. Jaime and crew packed them into the largest sandwich cartons they had. "For here, or to go?" How does one eat a multi-layered sandwich on the go...definitely for here. We quickly decide that I would try the McGangBang, and Matt would tackle the McWhitey. We would share a bite, but we would each own a conquest. A quick prayer of thanksgiving (no really!), and wade on in.

The McGangBang is as expected...almost too big for my mouth (I can hear my friends laughing now). But the flavor is very good. The chicken just adds a bit of "fried" flavor and a little tougher texture to the double cheeseburger experience. It is delicious. One has to do a little smooshing, or compacting to get it bite height, but the cheese holds it together. A few pickles add a nice tartness to the flavor that is just right. Matt has promised to go "unprotected" next time...that is the term for a spicy McChicken in the middle. 

The McWhitey is still fish-dominant in flavor. The height surpasses that of the McGB because of the thickness of the fish filet. The chicken is lost in all the fishiness, but the eating quality is still acceptable. We will pass on this one in the future.

So, Matt and I put an urban legend to rest...you can order a McGangBang sandwich from the secret menu at McDonald's. Don't forget to be nice to the manager.  

Chow!

College Entrance Stress

Lori and I got the best news parents of a soon-to-be high school graduate can get...our youngest just got into the college of her choice (and my alma mater), The University of Washington in Seattle. We let out a collective, "whew" when that acceptance letter came. We are proud of her for getting in (I think her mom gets more credit for her acceptance than she should). She actually was 4 for 4 in college acceptance, but the UW was her tough application...the other schools were of a lower tier (Univ. of Oregon, Univ. of Hawaii, and Western Washington). I thought her chances were less than 50-50. I guess I'd better explain why.

Melanie is smart, sometimes too smart to listen to anyone. She had straight A's through her sophomore year, and when she needed to perform in her junior year (THE key year as far as college applications go), she didn't get it done. Her counselor (that is a separate blog entry) suggested that in order to really stand out from her competition, she should take Advanced Placement classes. Her mother agreed...I was the lone skeptic. "If the counselor suggested it, it can't be wrong." was the explanation used to successfully argue a double dose of AP classes first semester. Melanie was enrolled in AP English and AP Math. Here is the result...AP English "D", AP Math "C". Her 4.0 GPA was now a more pedestrian 3.9. The plan backfired. Instead of helping her college applications, I imagined her applications being tossed aside. It is too easy to blame the "mean" teacher...her failure was not listening to what assignments and work was due when...not writing it down, not organizing her schedule...blah, blah, blah. I was livid, and I let her (and her mother) know. Her SAT scores were okay...1900 out of 2400, slightly higher than average. She did letter for 4 years in Varsity Swimming, but that was it. So that was my reasoning for a less than 50-50 shot at getting in. She did have a killer essay, well-written, descriptive, personal, and entertaining. 

My opinion on the strategy for getting into college is simple: 1) high GPA, 2) good SAT scores 3) Varsity Sports (at least 2 letters), 4) Outside activities: church, community, work, etc., and 5) an excellent "personal statement" essay.  No need for AP or Honors classes...especially in your senior year...it doesn't help during application time. If you insist on AP and Honors classes, then show up and get an A! I wanted my kids to have fun their senior years...we all get "senioritis", just plan for it! I think the key is #5...nothing sets you apart from every other valedictorian, 3-sport superstar than the essay question. I believe the essay helps the evaluator put a personality to a featureless application. The numbers (GPA and Scores) just weed the massive pile of applications down to a manageable number. It is the rest that helps define WHO the kid is, and will they add to the college atmosphere or detract from it.

The stress on her mom was much heavier than it was on the girl. Secretly, I believe we all put her chances at less than 50-50. Lori had the application process memorized and was constantly nagging Mel to get her stuff done. My memory of my college application days (waaaay back when) was simple: I did all the work, I looked up colleges in the college guide, I sent away for application packets, filled them out myself, asked Mom for a check to include with the application, and mailed them off. My parents interaction in the process was limited to discussing (or arguing) what choices I had made, and then having them write the check for the application fee. I doubt my folks knew what classes I was taking; their only focus was on the grades. Anything less than an A called for a frank discussion with me, not the teacher. That's Asian parents for you.  I doubt my folks even knew I had taken SAT's! Seriously! I had to keep my own schedule of application deadlines, etc. 

Our involvement today in our kids' college application process is nothing short of complete, it's as if we are the ones going to college. We fuss over the quality of their GPA's, we stress over which classes our baby Einsteins should take, we argue with teachers that dare give our darlings a grade lower than WE want. We even pay for classes to teach them how to take a test, and we plan a special diet for the day of the test. I have friends that are even asking for strategies now, and their kid is only a 10th grader.  I guess this is another trait of "helicopter" parents. We want our kids to have advantages, and we will stop at nothing to gain a little advantage over everyone else's kid. Problem is...it is the kid that has to show the initiative and no amount of energy from the parent is going to change that.

MY SAT test day went something like this: The alarm went off, I hit "off" instead of "snooze", woke up late, rushed through a shower, scrounged around for 2-#2's, rushed out the dorm without breakfast, and took the test. No prep classes, no prep booklets, no practice tests, no special protein snacks and brain juice during breaks, and no special studying of the dictionary for help on the verbal section of the test. My results weren't great, but getting into college wasn't as competitive back then. I didn't consider re-taking the test to bring my slightly above average score of 1100 (out of 1600) up. With my 3.92 GPA, my weak test scores, my decent sports abilities (3 Varsity Letters), okay outside activities (work, volunteering), and forgettable essay,  I was able to get into 4 decent schools; UVA, UW, Univ. of Florida, and Univ. of Tampa. I was wait-listed for William and Mary. Not bad for an under-achiever! Ha ha.

Don't get me wrong...I am proud of her for even wanting to go to college. I am proud of her accomplishments, her talent, and her brains. I am proud that she got into all the schools she applied to. I thank God for the blessings he put on her. I know it was more than her grades, scores and application. There is a reason she is going to the UW in the fall...to get her pops Husky football tickets! Go Dawgs!

Chow!

The Magical Kogi Truck

One of the fastest sweeping trends to catch LA all in a Twitter has to be the Kogi trucks. All the rage; it is now cool to eat from a taco truck. They look like a typical "lonchera" or lunch truck hawking tacos and burritos, but that is where the similarity ends.

Kogi trucks are the brainchild of a Korean restauranteur in LA's trendy Westside. His fusion "Korexican" cuisine can be found at Alibi, a cozy bar in Mar Vista. Taking it to the streets is the Kogi mission.  It is a blending of two cultures and capitalizes on something yummy from each: LA's love of taco trucks and their cheap, but good eats meets Korean spiciness. The combination, previously unconsidered is magic to the tastebuds. The Kogi truck has a limited menu...4 types of tacos and an equal number of burritos, plus the chef's special of the day. The taco meat choices are: beef short rib (minus the bones), spicy pork, spicy chicken and tofu. Covering the taco is a type of cabbage-based slaw. It is best described as chopped cabbage marinated in kimchee juice. Garlicky, fiery spicy with a little vinegar tang. The combination of a griddled corn tortilla, the flavorful meat and the spicy cabbage is amazing. The same meat goes into the burrito choices, along with eggs, cheese and hash browns. Yes, I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this one...it works. 

The lines at the Kogi truck are crazy long. Average wait is over an hour. Kogi has leveraged the "supply and demand" curve to its benefit. The Kogi truck is only at its designated spot for a couple of hours, and getting to that spot early enough for lunch or dinner is the key. Prepare for a wait...comfortable shoes and good company. The line can be a social networking opportunity as well because you have a built in conversation starter...the food, the line, and the location. 

Here's the marketing genius of the Kogi trucks...you can only find their location through Twitter. Sign up on Twitter, find the Kogi truck site, and they will then "twitter" you with the latest locations of their two roving trucks.  Businesses looking to generate some foot traffic to their locations are begging the Kogi trucks to make a stop. I think they could charge to show up and make bank. 

Here are the signs that the Kogi phenomenon is becoming a cultural trend...it is developing its own community of followers and has some unspoken rules to participate: Don't take too much foil for take-out. Don't order too much food because it seems selfish. Clean up after yourself and don't make a mess at the site. Let the cops to the front of the line so they don't hassle Kogi. 

My first order at the Kogi truck included one each of all four tacos. I couldn't decide which I liked better. My expectation was that the short ribs would be my favorite, followed closely by the spicy pork. Nope...I LOVED the spicy chicken the best. The flavor of that griddled dark meat chicken melding with the garlicky spicy marinade was delicious. The tofu was slightly fried to give it some flavor, and it absorbed the juice from the slaw fairly well. The short ribs and spicy pork didn't disappoint, but the chicken just outperformed it all. The special of the day was a Kimchee Quesadilla...which I heard was delicious from a fellow Kogi fan, but I am not that big of a Kimchee fan anyway. 

The prices are reasonable...$2 per taco and $5 for a burrito. Not bad for LA. But give yourself lots of time. We got to the location half an hour too late and waited 90 minutes just to give our order and another 25 for the order to appear. There were a couple of huge orders ahead of ours, and the crowd gave those food hogs a hard time for ordering way too much food. Two people had each ordered 6-8 peoples worth of food. Boo! How inconsiderate, and the folks in line let them know that they had crossed the line of impropriety. 

Go Kogi!

Chow!

Trust Issues

Everything lately seems to be pointing to one key value in my life...trust. Who can I trust? Who can I rely on? Can I be trusted? Why the testing? It is hard to get into too great of detail, but let's just say that the key word for me lately is that one.

I believe myself to be a trustworthy individual. I have always prided myself on being able to give people my word, and then follow through with those promises. My wife thinks I am too trusting of others, and I let others take advantage of me. I just might be a little too trusting, but I am also a firm believer that things even out in the end. I am also quick to enter into "trusting" relationships because I believe myself to be a good judge of character. I believe I have a good reputation; one that friends and business associates are willing to extend themselves on.

Now from that firm foundation I find myself in a different situation. Professionally, small cracks are starting to appear...I find myself saying things in a deliberate, purposeful and scripted way. It is hard for me because I am usually a "shoot-from-the-hip" kind of guy. I tell it like it is, and that's that. What's different is the fact that now more than just my job and career are on the line...I have broader and deeper responsibilities that involve others' jobs, careers and futures. It is a much tougher position to be in. I have to be careful with what I say, measured in how much I reveal, and my words carefully chosen. It has been explained to me that I now have "fiduciary responsibility." I find it a lonely and much too guarded of a place.

I am asking for more trust from others, without giving it in return...that is a strange feeling for me. My true inner circle of trusted relationships is shrinking; yet it appears as if I am bringing many more into it. They believe they are in that inner circle, but in reality they may not be.

I realize that as you read this you are wondering what sinister plotting is going on...relax, it is nothing that serious. It is merely a change in philosophy for me...one that is taking some getting used to.

My favorite lawyer joke:

Q) How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A) His lips are moving.

How can you tell when I can and can't be trusted? Ask me to look you in the eyes...

Chow!