Magical Inaugural Feelings

I am amazed at the overall feeling of hope being displayed in America during the week before tomorrow's inauguration. I was wondering how this week would be going if it were McCain about to take the Oath of the President of the United States. I seriously doubt it would be causing any blips on blogs, in the media, or in people's hearts. Bono? I think, no! HBO? No way! If anything, AARP probably would have hosted a party in his honor, but Rock Star status? Never! Obama is a frickin' Rock Star!! His speeches are heartfelt and seemingly unrehearsed. He doesn't need rehearsal because he believes what he is saying and he probably wrote it himself. I have heard only one better speaker...Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks. The master communicator, Howard is able to paint a picture with words that you can see, feel, and get behind. Obama has that same quality...speaking eloquently and truthfully with no crossed fingers behind his back.

President Obama has galvanized a nation before he has even spent one day in office! He will get the entire west coast up at 6 am to watch this magical day unfold. It feels as if the world is changing, and we are all in the front row to watch it. Better yet, we can help drive it. Will he get everything done? Nope, not even close...but his true victory has already happened...he has re-energized a nation with hope about its future. We already believe the world can change...we are ready to serve when asked.

Okay, this would be expected coming from a Millennial, but heck, I am a Boomer! And better (worse?) yet, a dyed-in-the-wool Republican Boomer! I was one of those converts as soon as Obama announced his candidacy. I was worried when he went up against the Hilary political machine, but somehow justice prevailed. Quick shift in subject...what would this inauguration be like if Hilary had won? I don't think there would be that same feeling of hope, but a whole generation of young women would feel empowered to change their world, and a bunch of us old guys would be pissed off. That polarizing effect was her downfall.

So I am going to bed early so I can get up and watch the spectacle live...no Tivo for this Boomer! Like Michelle says, I am proud again to be an American! You white people just don't get it! Ha ha!

Chow!

Is Sadness Underrated?

Yesterday Pastor Brad continued his weekly series on how to find ourselves...if you are Christian, you know the drill...to truly find yourself, you must lose yourself, etc. I have heard many, many sermons on this subject and thought I had a good understanding of the concept until yesterday. He has been picking specific words to talk about, and yesterday's word was, "compassion". As he was defining it, he said something that caused me to pause, and wonder about, so I will share it here. That word was, "sadness".

We spend our lives trying to avoid being sad. We actively seek happiness; we don't want any problems, we try not to cry, we avoid situations that cause us to think about hardship, death, etc. It is a word and emotion that we avoid. We believe the answer to living our lives actually is to seek the opposite of sadness. Here is the rub that is causing me to think more about it. Without feeling sadness for others' situations, we may never get involved, and without involvement we cannot show true compassion. That word is defined by our actions to help and change situations for others. Sadness as a feeling is such an underrated emotion.

What would we be like if we actually sought out sadness? To actively seek the suffering of others, recognize it, understand it, and be moved into action by it. How much more could we grow and mature if we did? What if we embrace our sadness and have it motivate us to action?

Why is God so attracted by our sadness? I think it is because it is at that point where we realize we can't control what is happening in our lives; that we are losing something (or even someone) we have put an immeasurable amount of value in. God wants to fill that void, he wants us to see and seek him at that point. Maybe we become the essence of God when we react to others' sadness. The root of compassion is empathy put into action.

Chow!

Out with the old, in with the new...

With 2008 coming rapidly to a close, it is time to reflect on the past 12 months. Why do we reflect on the past? I suppose it is a chance for us to assess our lives in a "forced" way; you know, the end of the year and all. We should take a look at how we walked the planet and make plans for the next 12 months to be a shining time for accomplishment, fulfillment of dreams, etc. Realistically the difference between December 31st and January 1st is minimal. But symbolically it can be a huge difference for us personally. We seem to have three options: 1) We can wipe the slate clean...of all of our failures, shortcomings, sins, whatever shame and disappointment burdens us, and we can look forward to a fresh, clean year to screw up. 2) We can also build on the successes, accomplishments, and good feelings we had as well. 3) We can ignore the changing of the year and just continue to live our lives as if there isn't anything different between one day and the next. No judgment from me, it can be either of the 3, and there is no right answer on how to express the new year, is there?  It is our choice.

I think I have always been in group #1...wipe it clean, start it over. It might change a little from year to year, but generally I think about renewal, improvement, forgiveness. And most years I fail to renew, improve, or stop bad habits. Last year I realized that I seemed to keep having the same end-of-the-year thoughts and frustrations of not being able to change myself so I resolved not to set any resolutions, but instead I set 1 goal for myself: I wanted to be passionately involved in something that God put in my path. Now how to define "involved"...basically I was going to try to listen to that inner voice that is always trying to tell us what to do. Most times I ignore the voice and avoid "involvement" at all costs. In 2008, I set the goal to jump in enthusiastically.

So 2008 had barely started when the opportunity presented itself...Africa. More specifically a microfinance opportunity for Africa. I have been spouting off for the past few years about how to sustainably help Africans, now I had a chance to put all my brilliant theories to work. As the year progressed, it got deeper. Lori and I helped to buy some land in Kenya to build a future around. No real plans, just a good opportunity presenting itself. We continued to pay the rent on the existing orphanage, and upheld all of our commitments to help as needed. Then in the spring, I helped develop a basic structure of a sustainable model where a "for profit" investment would help fund "not-for-profit" projects. Basically the model is built on the idea of a "corporate" community. The community of people would develop a corporate structure that would develop businesses to employ community members and throw off profits. A portion of those profits would then go towards charitable projects like health clinics, schools, churches, job training and so on. The sustainability comes from the fact that the community supports the charitable work, and it isn't dependent on outside agencies and donations. Way too much of the work being done in emerging economies is based on donations and outside charities. (It is evident when the fastest growing jobs are all in the charitable works field.)

Our model was presented to the board of directors for Christian Relief Fund in October. They liked the approach and wanted to experiment with two areas of the world that they had communities that they believed could start and support these types of works: Honduras and Kenya. However, more details about how to structure a community-held corporation would have to be explored, developed and detailed. But despite the lack of information and detail, they voted to create a budget and project. The real opportunity for my personal commitment came when a board member asked me if I would consider a nomination to become a member of the board for CRF and lead the microfinance effort. So here is where the rubber meets the road...the inner voice was screaming, "yes, do it!", but my sensible side kept arguing that I didn't have time, blah, blah, blah. Then I remembered my goal...passionate involvement. So I said, "yes, I would be happy to accept a nomination." God made sure I had no way out by giving me a unanimous approval.

As I look forward into 2009, I guess I am now becoming more of a #2 kind of person...I need to build on the commitments I made in 2008.  I've got one foot in the pool, but need to jump in with both feet, arms, legs, torso, head and most importantly, my heart. 

Wish me well in 2009, and if you want to join me, let me know!

Happy New Year! I hope you find something to be passionately involved in.

Chow!

Best Month Ever!

This December has to be one on my list of best months in my life...ever. It is strange because the joy of my personal life is juxtaposed against a crazy, frustrating work situation. Even though I feel unbalanced, the good is outweighing the bad. I guess I should elaborate a little.

Even with my terrible travel schedule, my family life is amazing. I really feel like I am truly connecting with my kids. We are communicating, and more importantly, I think they are starting to listen to me. We have turned that corner. I am no longer the parent that embarrasses them in front of their friends (I still do that, but now it seems okay). Maybe I do know something useful to them now. Whatever has happened, I will take it!

Melanie just spent the weekend with me because she wanted some time alone with me in LA. She has been catching glimpses of Jeff and my summer and has decided that she wants some “LA Memories” of her own. So as a reward for getting all her college applications done, we flew her down for a long weekend. She and I planned a bunch of events with my So Cal friends, and we almost pulled it all off. The weekend started on a Friday afternoon after I picked her up from the airport. She spent the afternoon hanging out in my office while I finished up a few last minute tasks. We went to dinner at my favorite little Chinese restaurant Wacky Wok (yes, that is the name). The owner spent time chatting to us, which always impresses Mel. The food was excellent (as always), and we even walked out with a few leftovers. Our next stop was Blockbusters for a couple of movies to watch on my new BluRay player and big screen HDTV. She and I playfully argued as usual about her annoying habit of talking nonstop through the best parts of the movie, and we stayed up until late.  We got up early the next morning, ate her favorite breakfast (potato and egg tacos), and then hit the La Brea Tarpits Museum. It was actually a nice little museum and park. There is still tar bubbling up to the surface in many spots. After that we met some friends at In-n-Out for lunch, and the girls decided to kidnap her to take her shopping. I eagerly agreed, making up a lame excuse to head back to the condo for a quick nap before picking up her older brother at the airport. We met up with the girls later for dinner at an awesome Korean BBQ restaurant. We had created a FaceBook event for her arrival to LA, and 10 people showed up for our dinner. We all had fun cooking our own food on a sizzling grill. After dinner we all went back to my place and pulled out the Guitar Hero 3 and Karaoke Revolution games. Now that was a hoot! Mel showed her skills at GH3, and I showed my obvious lack of talent at holding a note. I can now give my total and utter respect to William Hung of American Idol and YouTube fame. Singing in front of people even with the words coming across the screen is so hard and embarrassing! The crowd finally left at 2:30 in the morning. I think my neighbors are now advancing a petition to have me take voice lessons. Our plans to wake up really early the next morning to drive to San Diego were blown when we didn’t get up until 11. We decided to chill by going out for brunch at Dinah’s Diner, and then hit the Santa Monica Pier. The weather was cool but the air was so clear that the mountains were out. We thought it would be perfect to ride the Ferris wheel and take some pictures of the surrounding scenery.  It didn’t disappoint. The view was spectacular, and the crowd sparse, so the operator of the ride made it extra long. After our Santa Monica Pier experience we made it home in time to catch some NFL games on the tube (Go Cowboys!) Our final memory-making event was watching the Survivor Finale at night after a dinner of leftover Chinese food and homemade Won Ton soup. The little miss caught an early Monday morning flight home and the boy and I went in to work.  Later that week she called me to tell me her awesome news…she was accepted to two of her colleges that she applied to. One acceptance came with a certificate acknowledging that she was a candidate of “distinction”. Wow, is she proud of that (and rightfully so!)

Jeff was able to squeeze in a week of work before heading to Seattle. If you recall, he spent the summer interning in our accounting group. He had a little project left to finish, and the CFO asked him to come after his finals to put a few hours in. He made good friends here this summer, and they were genuinely glad to see him. He spent the week finishing his inventory project. He and I picked up our roommate habits pretty quickly, and moved through the week efficiently. He has a new female interest in his life, and Cindy (in the office) and I wouldn’t let that rest. She is like a big sister to him, and he has really connected to her; what am I saying, he has connected to all of them. I love watching him interact with my friends here in LA. I get to see a different side of him. We talked about this new person in his life, and I think he will be able to ask me for advice when necessary. 

That is what makes this one of my best months in my memory…the promise of better relationships with my kids, the continued promise of success for my kids as I see them moving into different (and more adult) phases of their lives, and the memories of laughter as we had fun with my friends in LA. They are such a great and generous bunch always willing to help me out.

I won’t even bore you with the negative stuff; it will only depress and anger me. I had it all typed up, but I am erasing it now…

Chow!

Giving Thanks

Obligatory Thanksgiving Blog...everyone is doing it, why not?

It is tough to pick just a few things to be thankful for, so I will start with new thoughts that I have never had before this year:

1. I am thankful that mom, dad, Chuck and Dee are still healthy and able to fully enjoy life. They all lead vibrant and exciting lives as retirees. I haven't thought about this much until this year. Terrible of me, I know, but you just expect your parents to be around forever, and this is the year I am realizing that I am thankful to be able to talk to them, see them, and continue to learn from them.
2. I am thankful that Melanie misses me while I am gone. She is realizing that we think alike, have the same sense of humor, and that I know what she is thinking. She wants to be friends with me, and that makes me thankful.
3. I am thankful that Jeff calls me just to "jabber". It still isn't as often as I would like, but it is still nice when he calls just to say "hi" or to talk about something that happened to him, or to share a funny anecdote from his college life. 
4. I am thankful that neither Melanie nor Jeff has ever asked us for money. This tells me that we have raised pretty responsible people who have learned to live within their means and aren't too focused on material things. Maybe I don't have to worry about their futures that much.

So those are the new thoughts. The "usual" things I am privately thankful for everyday, but publicly during this week are:

1. I am thankful for my marriage. 25 years is a long time. Lori and I have now been married more than half of our lives. It is too easy to take for granted. When I am in LA, I seem to worry about stupid stuff. As soon as I am "home" in Seattle I worry less and fall into a pleasant life. That is directly related to how well Lori has made our home.
2. I am thankful for my healthy, relatively happy kids. They are smart, successful, and a perfect reflection of great parenting...ha! They really are the pride of Lori and my life. 
3. I am thankful for old friends who have stood by for decades. We don't get together enough or even talk to each other enough, but these special people are constantly in my heart and in my thoughts.
4. I am thankful that we are both employed. We usually complain about our jobs, but this fall we are just grinning and bearing it. 
5. I am thankful that I am healthy...no major issues, just nagging pains that tell me I have been alive a long time. How's that for perspective?
6. I am thankful for my faith. God has been very good to me this year; bringing new people in my life to love and be loved by (PJ, Lexi, Mike, ATJ, Shiran, Spencer, Palo, Jana, Melissa, Alissa, Sylvia, Candace, and others), giving me opportunities to serve him, and giving me a hope.

So that brings me to ask you a question...

To whom are you thankful? Who do you express your thanks to? For me, I need to be "vocal to the locals", or those in my life that make a difference. I also need to raise my voice upwards to God. It might only pop into our heads and hearts once a year, but this really should be an everyday experience. I will try to be thankful on a daily basis. That means I will have to be exceptionally good at observing when others make a difference in my life, or the lives of others. 

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Chow!

The Miracle Shampoo

The holidays are approaching and I was reading a story about the Maccabbean revolt and the miracle of the oil for their sacred lamp. Story has it that as the Maccabbes retook the temple of Jeruselem, they found it destroyed by the occupying forces of Antiochus V. After rebuilding the temple, they needed to consecrate it. They relit their holy lamp in the temple to begin the re-dedication of the temple and discovered that they didn't have enough olive oil to keep their lamp burning during their ceremony and, in fact, they only had enough oil to last a single day. Unfortunately it would take 8 days to press, bless and purify new oil for the lamp. What to do? They prayed for God to intercede. The miracle part of the story we all know...the lamp continued to burn for 8 days and never went out while they made new sacred oil. This miracle became the basis for the Jewish Holiday of Hannukah, the Festival of Lights.

My story is related, but I don't know what spiritual reference I can take from this, but my bottle of shampoo hasn't run out in over 10 months of use! This is my "Miracle Shampoo!" Okay, it is a large bottle of Costco Shampoo, but seriously, it continues to give me a single pump of 'poo every time I ask for one. It feels empty, and has for over a month. In anticipation I went to Costco and bought a couple of replacement bottles. My bottle has lasted so long Costco changed the package...my white bottle with sloped shoulders has been re-designed to a stylish brown color with more of a square look...that is how long this sucker has lasted. I bought those replacement bottles (yeah, annoying that they come in 2-packs only) back in August, and here it is almost November and my hair is still shiny clean, bouncy, and luxurious. Well, as much as it can bounce. Those two bottles of new shampoo are sitting in my closet gathering dust. Every morning as I prepare to pump a squirt of shampoo, I say a little prayer that it will continue to give me cleansing...and I haven't been disappointed yet.

I brought that bottle of shampoo down to LA  from Seattle when I moved down in January. It wasn't completely full, but close enough. I moved it from my apartment in Venice to my condo in Culver City. You have to remember, every time I move it, I have to pump it to secure the pump down...that wastes a lot of valuable stuff, and I have done that twice...make that three times. For some reason I couldn't secure the pump and had to pump it a second time when I moved to Culver City. So I haven't been overtly conserving shampoo. When I wash my short hair, I do only pump it once, which is plenty. But by my calculations I have pumped it over 200 times, and it always delivers. It should have run dry months ago...

I can't explain it, and am afraid to take the lid off the bottle to look inside. I will just continue to pump it every morning until it gives up its last gift. That bottle has already given me so much, I can't expect anything more.

Maybe that is the spiritual lesson...think about someone who is always there for you, and has never given up on gifting you something you need...an encouraging word, a hug, or that look that says, "you're my friend, and I've got your back." 

I will let you all know when that bottle finally runs dry...then I will look for my next miracle bottle.

Chow!

Long Road to Columbus, OH

Well, I drove the boy from Seattle to Columbus so he could start his Junior year at OSU in Columbus...I guess I should say it right; THE Ohio State University. The wife and I decided that he would need a vehicle this year in case he lands a sweet internship at one of the big accounting firms. Plus it's hard to be a "baller" without wheels, and we don't want to be "salting his game."

We started the drive from lovely, chilly Seattle; hoping to make Bozeman, MT by the end of day one. We got a late start, so we thought 650 miles on day one would be okay. Plus driving east means losing one hour every day as we passed through time zones. Our adventure started out badly...we barely got out of Seattle when we saw flashing red lights in the rear view mirror. Unfortunately Jeff was behind the wheel, and the woman officer cut him a

lmost no slack. He was only obeying my orders to "follow that Jackrabbit Dodge Nitro" through Ellensburg, WA. Seems "Smokey" had radar up in the sky in a little Cessna plane and pulled both of us over. The officer just dinged us for 10 mph over...that was nice of her.

Day two our goal was to make it to Mt. Rushmore, SD for a quick stop at the National Monument, then boogie all the way to Sioux Falls, SD for the night. That was

a big day, 900 miles and a hemorrhoid for me. Mt. Rushmore is very cool...much more impressive than I was expecting. It was also a lot further off the highway than we thought, and we burned a couple hours sightseeing. I had to make up some time. I was behind the wheel this time when a young highway patrol officer pulled me over for exceeding the speed limit. I truly believed the limit was 75, and I was right at 75 when I passed him. He corrected me and said that the speed limit through that lovely stretch of South Dakota is 65 mph. He then asked where we were headed, and I told him that I was taking young son back to college. He asked where Jeff went to school, and after we answered, I knew he would let us off when he asked about the football team losing to USC. We made small talk, and the nice officer let me off with a warning and then the locations of other similar reductions in speed limit to be careful of. How helpful that information was! 

I thought day two was the long one, but day three turned out to be the longest spent behind the wheel. We drove non-stop from Sioux Falls, SD to just east of Indianapolis, IN...5 states in one day. I was tired of driving past corn fields, soybean fields, cleaning bugs off the windshield, and eating fast food, so we decided to stop for a nice sitdown dinner at a big truck stop...aren't they supposed to be known for having good food? Well this one didn't live up to those expectations. The value was there, but so was the heartburn and queasiness. 

We slept in on Day 4, and rolled into Columbus right around lunch. We spent the afternoon moving his stuff into his frat house room, going to his storage facility to get the rest of his stuff, and then arranging, rearranging, and re-rearranging his room to his satisfaction. It was hotter than blazes, and after climbing up 4 flights of stairs who knows how many times, I was done.

Saturday was a fun day. We met up with my friends (who have a cute daughter at OSU) and went to the OSU-Troy game (Buckeyes win big). My buddy Bartman was honored at halftime along with his '73 team and the '68 team for their National Championship seasons. After the game, Jeff and I hung out with our respective friends. I am sure his evening involved rounds of Beer Pong and young ladies, while mine was spent talking with friends about the "good old days." After getting back to my hotel room I started missing my son. We spent 4.5 days in a vehicle talking about our lives, our worries, our hopes and dreams (barely, but it sounds good), and like I have said before, we are starting to become better friends than father-son. Plus this was the end of the summer where he and I lived together, worked together and socialized together. I miss him a ton.

As he dropped me at the airport for my flight to LA, he told me he had a lot of fun with me. That meant a lot to me. He is an awesome kid with loads of potential.

Chow!