No Time to Just Think Anymore

It has been 3 weeks since my last post, and I have hit the wall. It isn't that I have writer's block, it is just that my mind isn't allowed to just wander anymore and think about "stuff".  I would love to just think about what is going on with the campaign progress, the economy, the Sonics leaving Seattle, or about my family. It is thinking about those things that get my creative juices flowing. I have been so busy at work that I can't even look for a house to work on!

I spend my days (and nights) stressed about work. It can't be healthy to have my mind on work 24/7...but that is the world of a start-up executive.  The things I have to worry about don't just involve me or my immediate family anymore. It isn't just about my performance. I now have to worry about a group of employees that are not only depending on me to bring success to our small company; but also a fledgling brand that needs to get off the ground, and about cash flow. That is the new one on me. Trying to stretch 3 weeks worth of money into 3 months creates bad feelings and has me dancing all day. Luckily my sparkling personality has helped to create good credit situations when we have no reason to get it. Things will get better when we get a bridge loan that we have been waiting for for over 2 months! That loan will give us adequate runway to market ourselves, get some bills paid, get us some long-awaited inventory and human capital to grow. This same scene is playing out in hundreds of thousands of start-up businesses just like this one. We'll see if this idea is truly a sustainable one...I think it is.

Fortunately the change in the economic picture hasn't negatively affected us, yet. Unfortunately it is unscrupulous vendors that cause me to lose sleep, go hypertensive, and give me grey hair. If I could only trust vendors...there is that word again, "trust". If I picked one value that is failing American business, it is that one. It seems like we aren't people of our word anymore. We need it all in writing, in contracted legalese, and if not, we can't be held responsible. This is a lesson we are teaching the world...and they have learned it well.

Even with the stress, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Well, that isn't true. I would trade it for a spot where going public or being acquired is a sure thing! I have done more, learned more, and met more influential people in 3 months than in the previous 10 years of working for a large corporation. There is no where, or no one to hide behind. When someone says, "you are the man!", believe them...you are the man.  And then go do what a "man" (or wo"man") does...do what you say you will, when you say you will do it. Don't lie, shirk your duty, or relinquish your responsibilities. Take the heat, and take your lumps. Then, and only then can you sleep at night knowing you have done all that you can do. 

There, I feel a little better. Unfortunately I didn't come up with earth-shattering insight, but I needed to exhale a little this week. Blow out a little frustration and drop a little negative energy. It hasn't been a great week, but it is over now and that is a great milestone for the state of mind I am in.

Chow!

Obama Demonstrates True Character

The news stories around storied preacher The Reverend Jeremiah Wright and his association with Barack Obama are such a perfect example of opportunistic dog-piling by the campaigns of McCain and Ms. Clinton, and the evil press. I have read too many commentaries about Obama's speech and have been following the calls by the media and Hillary to distance himself from, and to condemn the preaching of his long time minister. Hillary even went so far to say that she would never go to a church that had a minister like that. She doesn't belong in a church anyway.

I was so impressed by Obama's ability to both answer his critics and show loyalty and love to his friends. It isn't time to abandon Rev. Wright. He is a long time friend, mentor and teacher. Obama showed us all how to disagree with his friend without throwing him under the bus, as Hillary wanted him to.

Here is the real question...why didn't Hillary speak out in support of her husband after he admitted to indiscretions with his intern? She "suffered" quietly and privately, so the stories went. While she and Bill are still "married", she has yet to stand up in public and show as much love as Obama showed his friend. I know the answer...it has to do with how Hillary makes decisions. Her method is simple, she will do what is best for her image. She decides selfishly on what course to take. She barely spoke out in support of one of her best friends, confidants, (and probably co-conspirators) Vincent Foster after he committed suicide under questionable circumstances. If it doesn't work in her favor, she will remain quiet and ask for privacy. If it serves her purpose, she will jump up and down on her soapbox to make sure we all know how unfairly she is being treated.

Obama is all class. He has been friends with Rev. Wright for over 20 years. Those types of friends don't come along very often. I don't agree with everything my friends think, or say, but I still love them for who they are, not how they can help me. He explained his relationship perfectly. My admiration for the man continues to grow. He is thoughtful, he doesn't panic, and he knows how to handle adversity...qualities I want in my friends and my president.

My guess is that Rev. Wright hasn't all of the sudden become who he appears to be. Why is he now just getting all this negative publicity? It isn't like he just learned to hate white people and white society. He might not say it, but I will help him...this is Whitey's world. There is still a race problem in the USA. White people don't see it, experience it, or suffer from it because of one reason...uh, they are white. White people will never understand racial bias because they are on the "right" side of the bias. There is nothing wrong with him stating the truth as he sees it. He doesn't have to present it from the White side of things...that isn't the side he is on. Yes, there are sides...this doesn't mean I am a racist. It just means that I am on a different side than white people...simple as that. Don't read any more into it. I don't have a hateful bone in my body just because of a person's skin color, name, home country, language, etc. It takes more than that for me to hate you!

Okay, I admit he said some hateful things...but he is a preacher, he is making a point. His caricature descriptions and language help cement the point he is making. The apostle Paul was very descriptive and colorful with his description of the religious leaders and Pharisees of his time. Jesus wasn't afraid to tell the truth about the world either. By the way, Jesus hung out with tax collectors (the gangsters of his day), harlots (the ho's of his day), and the marginalized of society. He didn't condone their jobs, lifestyles, or behavior, he just loved them and hung out with them. Imagine Jesus at the mercy of our media today.

As an Asian American, I experienced enough bias in my life to know that I have to act white to be accepted. Seriously, it is the hardest acting job to pull off. And the worst part...with all this acting I am still not totally accepted. I am allowed in a little way, but kept from the best seats in the house. And that is based solely on how I look, my heritage and my old home country.

Peace to all! Don't let the smoke and mirrors distort the truth. Obama (or McCain) in '08!!

Chow!

Big Sis Turning 51

I was in denial last year when my oldest sister turned 50. That meant I was that much closer to the half a century mark, and I couldn't acknowledge that, yet. But this year, she commented that I have given everyone a birthday "shout out" except her. I had to remind her, no, actually I didn't. Dad's was a Father's Day tribute...ha. I have no real excuse, that is just my feeble attempt to justify why I didn't. I will make up for it this year.

If I had to pick one word to associate with Irene, it would have to be "Pioneer".  As the oldest of 4 kids born into a Chinese-American, Roman Catholic, globe-trotting family, she lead the way for all of us. Just being in that kind of family broke a lot of barriers, but she broke so many other barriers socially for us as well.  In our family, Mom and Dad laid down the law. Irene chose to skirt that set of laws and broke rules to ease our oppression. Sneaking out at night, missing curfew, smoking, etc. She found the gaps in Mom and Dad's security system, and pushed the limits of what they accepted to pave the way for us younger ones.  I think I had a much easier teen existence because of her influence. 

I would say that she was also the experimenter, going through all the social change of the 60's and early 70's as a teen. But, she and Viv suffered a little for her pioneering ways. The 'rents wouldn't trust either of them to date while in high school, and I think that had some negative consequences for both of them as they discovered "men" later in life after never having to deal with "boys" earlier.

I thought she was all rebel, while I was all conformity. I toed the line, she obliterated it.  As a youngster, she fought with authority, while I respected it.  I still remember the first time I saw her drinking coffee...I thought, wow, she is going to get in trouble for that! I think she was 14...which made me 10. It was a glass of iced coffee, and we were on the front porch. It was as if it were a glass of whiskey it was so taboo! She even gave me a sip!

She was cool. She always had the hippest outfits...hot pants, go-go boots, platform shoes, bell-bottoms, beads, headbands, cool shades, etc.  She had a cassette player and radio all in one! And it was always tuned to the WEEL (1310 on AM). She always tried to get us to have the same hipness. She drove an Austin-Healy Bug-eyed Sprite in college (when she could get it to start), and had very cool artsy type friends. Her choices in men were suspect, but I remind you of her upbringing.

That pioneer and rebel is now a grandmother. She wants her grandkids to call her "Meemaw". Now how cute is that? Her kids are maturing and starting to really understand how much she loves them, and always has. She found her true love, Paul, who is her soul mate (gag). Those parents she used to clash with as a teenager?...she now takes care of and watches out for. She has come full circle. My parents trust her completely. They work together in the realty business, and she is their trusted advisor. She loves spending time with them, and they eat together almost every weekend, and many times during the week. 

I purposely skipped the middle part of her life, because that journey was a difficult one for her, and hard for her family to watch her go through. The back half is the best part so far. That tough section of road taught me to respect her even more. I am amazed at what she can do, and what she is able to endure.

The pioneer has truly found her life. 

Happy Birthday Irene! 

Chow!

One Silver Astronaut

I had my first non-work night out on Friday night. Even though it involved work people, we went more as a social group than a work group...you're right, that doesn't count. Okay, still looking for my first social night out in LA.

Anyhoo, we started the evening at Meesob, an Ethiopian Restaurant with high marks. We re-named it, "We-sob" because of the poor service. Our table of 10 seemed to get zero respect...almost as if we weren't there. Every other table seemed to get great service, but not ours. We even tried to catch the attention of waiters, waitresses, bartenders and bus persons, asking for someone to take our drink, appetizer, and dinner orders. It took 1 1/2 hours to just get our first round of drinks and 6 Samosas for snacks. Once we had a waitress, we shouldn't have let her go. We got there at 7:30 pm, and needed to get out by 9 to make a debut show by the band, "One Silver Astronaut" playing down the street. I will let you guess what time we got out of there. Almost 10.

"One Silver Astronaut" is a local band that my friend's son plays in. My buddy, Milt's son Patrick happens to be in LA going to grad school, and he is such the music fiend. He ended up in this band and they are just starting to play live around town. The lead singer/guitar is Shane Mills, who has a sweet voice. Their drummer plays a complex beat that demonstrates his obvious talent. Paula, the female vocalist adds just the right amount of depth. They have a fiddler as well, which is different. Patrick plays a great bass. While their sound is not unique (rock/pop), their original songs have great messages, lots of emotion, and sound like you've heard them on the radio before, as if they have been around a while and have already been discovered. Unfortunately the crowd was a little small, but everyone seemed to enjoy them. The crowd was extra small this night because the 10 of us stuck in an Ethiopian time warp didn't make the show until the very last set of songs. We were all disappointed that we didn't make it in time, but what we did hear was amazing.

Do me a favor and go to iTunes and download a song or two...my favorite is "Work in Progress", followed by "Camouflage". Remember, you heard about them here first.

Chow!

Another Driver in the House

My last teenager just got her driver's license on Tuesday. This is the final sign that we are officially becoming empty nester's. I have been nagging her since August to study, practice, and take her driver's license test so she can be one of the "cool" kids and drive herself to school. She was content to let her mom drive her everywhere...since Mom was on speed dial and was willing to jump at a moment's notice to pick her up or drop her off at all hours of the day and night. But no amount of coercion could convince her to take that last driving test. She had already aced the written part.

Secretly, I think she was worried about not passing. So she let that beautiful, nice, 2000 RAV-4 sit in the driveway. Her mom made her drive them both to school, to band events, and even to do her paper route, but that car was sitting there begging for her to drive it, and she did nothing really to get her independence. Don't ask me why I was so eager for her to get her independence. I wanted her to get a social life, and become less dependent on us, I guess.

I would drag her out on Saturdays to practice her parallel parking...I don't know, isn't that the toughest part of the driving test? I just thought it would build her confidence. I even made her set goals for herself...ones that she wouldn't reach, for some reason. She promised she would get her license before her cousins came to visit at Thanksgiving...that came and went. Another promise during Christmas break was broken.

Well, she called on Tuesday saying she passed her driver's test on the first try! She was pretty proud of herself and immediately went out to get a parking permit for the school parking lot. She now feels, "normal" whatever that means. She pulled off the parallel parking in one try. She said the test was easier than she thought, and that she was worried for nothing...so it was true! She was afraid of failure!

I never worried about her as a driver. She is a good driver, in command and control, and relaxed behind the wheel...or so it seems. She has decision-making issues like all new drivers, but overall I am not too worried about her. I actually worried more about my son, but maybe that is because he was the first one.

Anyway, she is now happy she has her license (duh!), and feels cool pulling up to the parking lot with all the other upper classmen (another duh!). She will never admit that I was right, but the way she wanted to surprise me with the news tells me it was on her mind...right at the very top.

I am not so happy about the added insurance costs, cough, cough, but it is a rite of passage that all kids have to go through. I am really happy for her (and her mom!). Now her mom has all that extra time in the morning that she doesn't know what to do with.

For all of you kids out there stressing about that driving test, think about this...you only need 80% to pass...that isn't too hard. You can almost cause an accident and still pass...maybe not, but close. Too many times you all are focusing on perfection. Not necessary with that final driving exam. So, focus on passing, not perfection. Okay, enough advice. Be careful out there, there is now one more teen driver on the road.

Chow!

Birthday Boy...Birthday Man

Valentine's Day happens to also be my oldest "child's" birthday. He turned 20 this past week, and it caused me to really think about a day when I can't consider him a child. He is already so grown up, independent, less reliant on his parents. We are at that awkward stage in life...in between taking care of him, and letting him take care of himself.

This is the point in child-parent relationships that nobody tells you about. You have to face it all on your own. It is a strange, weird feeling. When your children are your babies; totally dependent on you for their care, it is easy to assume that role. Raising them is the objective...caring for them is definition of the word, parent. Making sure they are well-cared for IS athe job of a parent. Even through high school, they NEED so much from us parents.

Now that he is 20, a sophomore in college, and thinking about careers, an adult life, and more importantly, a separate life, it gets tough. There is a feeling that we are starting to intrude on his life. I ask myself, what is my role now? Consultant? Advisor? Certainly not raising him anymore. No sense nagging him anymore...if he hasn't grasped hold of the meaning of life now, it is probably too late. The switch from primary caregiver to whatever I am now happened so quickly. It caught me by surprise. I sent him a nice e-mail on his birthday, talking about my 20th birthday, and then it dawned on me...our relationship is changing. I don't FEEL like his Dad anymore. I am not sure what I am, but not a Dad.

Seriously, I can't believe how amazing he is as a son. He really makes me proud. And that is the sad part...it is as if I am admiring him from afar. I am not able to toss him up in the air and make him laugh anymore. I can't fix his hair, tie his shoes, teach him to ride his bike, or tuck him in bed. I have to watch him live his life from an outsider's perspective. I have noticed that my wife and I are reliving some of those early parts of our kid's lives...remembering the funny way they pronounced words, the cute stories from their childhood; maybe that is my way of trying to slow it all down.

I remember what I wanted at his age...I wanted the respect from my father. I wanted him to know that I was capable of making good decisions, I knew what I wanted, and I was on my way to getting it; all without his help. My mom will always be my mom, and I will always let her take care of me, but with Dads it is different. Sons must show fathers their abilities and be released.

So, for his birthday present, I guess I will give him my respect as a man, and become his friend. I will let his mom take care of him. I will just love him, and hope to be a great example for him.

Chow!

2nd Celebrity Encounter...sort of

I got back to my apartment on "Super Tuesday" to 3 messages on my phone...the first message was from Mitt Romney making sure I voted for him at the primary elections...nope. Second message was Mitt Romney asking if he could count on me at the California primary...delete.

The third message had me...it was Scarlett Johannsen. Sounded just like her, and then she said her name..."Hi, don't hang up, this is Scarlett Johannsen and I wanted to remind you about how important today's primary voting is..." Wow, Scarlett called me to remind me to make my voice heard. Then she said the magic words..."Barack Obama". Okay, no deleting this one, let her finish her plea. Plus, I like the sound of her voice better than Mitt's. Sorry Mitt, it is just that you sound like you are reading your message to me off of a script. Scarlett sounded like she was talking to me, PERSONALLY. She deserves an Academy Award nomination for best actress for the phone message she left. Oh, and she is darned cute!

I told you all before, I am a solid conservative that wants Barack for President. I can't explain it other than my need for change. I don't see it in Hilary (her life is full of special interest ownership), and I am afraid the John McCain will not be able to enact the change we need in the US.

Unfortunately Hillary took California. Washington State settles things today. Obama seems to be a cash-making machine...that usually bodes well for candidates. I see a strong finish for him, and hopefully he slides into the National Democratic Convention with enough support to put himself on the ballot. I think a great strategic move would be to announce his running mate now. I think John Edwards would help him take it...

Life in LA continues to shock me. I am amazed daily at the displays of wealth (or pseudo-wealth). I am dazed by the focus on physical beauty. If SoCal was a swimming pool it would be only 6 inches deep it's entire length it is sooo shallow.

My friend LR took me to Aunt Kezzie's for lunch the other day...now that was real food! Awesome southern comfort food. I had the smothered pork chops, cabbage, corn bread, red beans and rice, and dressing and gravy (don't you dare say "stuffing"!) I will go back for more cornbread, fried chicken (looked amazing!), ribs, and greens.

My co-workers have been dragging me to all kinds of California natural places, raw food restaurants, organic, local, etc. The raw food restaurant Cafe Euphoria was unique...the food is not cooked at all, but they seem to be able to duplicate (well, that is a little bit of a stretch) breads, meats and other foods that normally NEED heat to make. I had a Cocao-Euphoria "sandwich". Some dried leathery "bread" with coconut jerky (the meat substitute), lettuce, guacamole, and dried fruit. It was tasty, and the texture was reminiscent of meat and bread...sort of. It was a little chewy, but the flavor was good. The unexpected part was how it left my body the next day. We will leave out the details, but "violent" describes it best. I could actually feel the scraping action on my colon. Oh, I said I would leave out the details. Sorry!

After a few weeks of organic, I rebelled and had to have a burger. I took a friend to The Counter in Santa Monica. If you love burgers, this is a must stop for you. It is like In-n-Out meets Starbucks. The level of personalization is amazing. The quality of the ingredients are superb. They don't hand you a menu, they hand you a clipboard with blueprints on how to build a burger. Pick a meat (the beef is Niman Ranch, the Chicken is Rosie, and the Turkey is local, heirloom), even a veggie burger. Pick a bun...English Muffin (homemade), Honey Wheat (same), and Homemade White. Soft, doughy, fresh...yum! Pick your toppings next. 16 types of cheese, and over 30 other toppings of vegetables, fruits, pickles, onions, chili, salsa...you get the idea. Pick your sauce...no need to explain the variety of mustards, ketchups, bbq sauce, and Teriyakis. Pick your sides...less choices here...yummy sweet tater fries, regular garlic fries, onion rings, and 50/50's of each. For those of you that can't decide, they do have a few pre-made uncustomized burgers. You can even get your burger in a bowl (bunless). I will have to go back because I saw so many other toppings I want to try. I did a 2/3 lb. well-done beef, honey whole wheat bun with jalapenos, avacado and chili, with a 50/50 sweet and regular fries, and an Arnold Palmer to drink.

LR promised me a list of "musts" restaurants on his local hit list. Game on! He and a co-worker had a 15 minute "argument" on which place in LA had the best hot dogs. I think arguments need to be resolved the old fashioned way...I will just have to try them all and decide for myself!

Life in LA continues on...more stories to come.

Chow!