Family Traditions

The wife and I were discussing how our kids are growing up, getting on with their lives, etc. Then she sighed a big sigh. "I wish we could go back in time and do things differently." she said. I replied, "What would you change?" She thinks we don't have any real family traditions. She sees her kids going to their significant others' family events and having fun. Melanie's boyfriend's family has a monthly dinner on a Sunday, where everyone shows up, plays games, eats dinner and hangs out. Jeff's girlfriend's family has a second home on the Colorado River in Arizona where they go on the weekends. Lori grew up much the same way...every Sunday meant a family supper at the grandparents house, and every summer meant summer camp and renting a cabin on the lake. I grew up differently. We never went to summer camps, we didn't bbq much, we didn't go on ski trips, and if it involved extended family, we usually just ate together.

I think it is the same for most Chinese families like mine. If you stayed in China, it meant you probably lived on a farm with generations of farming history. You have your extended family close because it was the family business...you were all farmers. If you fled China during the revolution, your life was never going to be the same. Your extended family was probably in a few different countries. Sharing your life together was impractical and nearly impossible. So you try to adopt the traditions of your new home. In our case, that was the US. For my aunt, that was Indonesia, and so on. There was no homeland anymore. Find new traditions. We moved around so much and lived in so many foreign countries that I thought that was the tradition...3 years here, 2 here, and move. Make new friends, and move again. Get settled in high school, and then move.

As I matured and met my wife, that life was foisted on her. We moved a lot in our time together. It was our family tradition. Get a new job, and move. Buy a new house, and move. Lose a job, move again. Is it creating regrets as I get older? I don't think so. I think my kids are able to adapt to new situations pretty quickly. I think they are able to make friends anywhere. I think they have learned a variety of things about US history and culture. They have seen and done a lot of things their friends have not. They have experiences that stretched their minds and enriched their lives. Do I ever wish we had strong family traditions? Sometimes. Do I regret submitting them to that lifestyle? Never.

Maybe after Melanie gets married, her spouse will have an affect on their family traditions. I hope so. But she will be able to bring her life of experiences with her to that new family. A love for the Kentucky Derby for one...what it was like to climb the Great Wall of China and eat strange foods; that will be another thing she can share with her new extended family. Jeff can tell of the time he was able to see his beloved Philadelphia Eagles play live at Cowboy Stadium, and how they beat my Cowboys that day. Or how he got to bargain with street vendors in Shanghai for his cool souvenirs. For sure both my kids have eaten more weird foods than most people would dream about. They have traveled to more countries, and experienced more culture than many of their friends.

I think the Wu family tradition is not to have any traditions...well, maybe my Thanksgiving cooking, St. Patrick's Day Corned Beef, and pan-fried noodles might be considered lesser traditions, but in the big picture, our tradition is to take life as it comes and make it an adventure. It has been unpredictable, and I like it that way.

Chow!