Larry at 5-0

On the occasion of my 50th birthday, I write this entry. I have been thinking about this topic long before I turned 50, but at this milestone, I figured I should get it down. I have noticed a not-so-gradual change in my personality...it happened fast, maybe over the last 6 months or so. It is scary. I wonder if everyone goes through these stages of life the same way.

Top Ten List of Changes When You Turn 50

10: I hate ice cold drinks anymore...hurts more than refreshes.

9: I need to slow down when driving at night now.

8: I have accepted that gas is a part of life.

7: I enjoy crossword puzzles.

6: Just to be sure I heard correctly, I ask people to repeat things.

5: I plan things around trips to the bathroom.

4: I actually thought about buying a burial plot.

3: I have been writing my own obituary, but not getting too far on it.

2: My new favorite word is "idiot", and there seem to be a lot more of them around now.

1: I am actually starting to think that velcro shoes are a great idea!

When did I get old? I am becoming what I NEVER thought I would become...a man with limitations. Both physical and non. I can't lift as much, walk as far, or see as well. I am at the twilight of my working career, and that realization is hitting me hard.

I think I now understand what a "mid-life crisis" is. As a young man, you live your life looking forward to milestones of accomplishment. I think the crisis hits when your best milestones are behind you and you start looking back on your accomplishments. Without the dreams to propel you forward, you actually start looking for that feeling of accomplishment in other ways...fast car, new wife, new hairpiece, etc. You buy the best accomplishments your money can afford. Need and common sense have no place in those decisions...you want it, you can afford it, so you get it! I totally understand that now. It might seem ludicrous to your family, but perfectly reasonable to you. I get it! I don't know why I am coveting that new gun...I don't absolutely need it, but I want it, and I have always wanted it...why shouldn't I have it?

At 50, I have few regrets in life. If I had 2 events to relive in my life, I would do them over better, but that isn't bad when I look back. Other than that, I have accomplished way more than what I set out to do. Maybe I didn't dream big enough, but I had no real plan as a young man. I had a philosophy...open doors that are presented to you, and pick the ones that seem to teach you new things. All my decisions, personal and career-oriented were based on that philosophy. God has blessed me with everything accept the ability to "do-over" my mistakes...they are learning events, painful at first, but wholly useful.

I completely understand that saying, "Youth is wasted on the young." I feel like I am just beginning to give back to society and to help the less fortunate. I am running out of time and it bothers me. I want the energy I had as a young man combined with the knowledge that I have as a older man. Strange how life does that to us...just when we get to know ourselves and see our real potential it is time to think about slowing it all down. Maybe I will choose not to. Maybe that mid-life crisis desire can be channeled to do good.

Maybe...

Chow!